WEBVTT

1
00:02:16.390 --> 00:02:20.008
Oh, look at me, I'm dying.

2
00:02:25.942 --> 00:02:32.526
A bastard in a dirty white cap - a cook
in the Normative Nourishment canteen...

3
00:02:33.241 --> 00:02:38.403
...at the Economy National Council
- scalded my side.

4
00:02:41.208 --> 00:02:42.833
What a snake!

5
00:02:43.836 --> 00:02:45.876
Although he is a proletarian.

6
00:02:48.466 --> 00:02:50.589
God, it hurts!

7
00:02:53.472 --> 00:02:55.428
What harm was I doing?

8
00:02:57.602 --> 00:03:03.188
I'm not robbing the Council of National Economy's food
supply if I go foraging in their garbage cans, am I?

9
00:03:05.777 --> 00:03:07.152
Greedy pig.

10
00:03:09.238 --> 00:03:11.480
A thief with a copper snout.

11
00:03:15.620 --> 00:03:17.614
God, I am so hungry.

12
00:03:32.888 --> 00:03:36.933
We are back from the field.

13
00:03:37.310 --> 00:03:41.260
And everywhere class
enemies are celebrating.

14
00:03:42.023 --> 00:03:46.188
Tell me, Uncle,
for the sake of the people

15
00:03:46.695 --> 00:03:50.029
No enemy will escape our punishment.

16
00:03:50.741 --> 00:03:54.691
The hoofs are knocking,

17
00:03:55.121 --> 00:03:58.656
The machine-gun is sounding.

18
00:03:59.376 --> 00:04:03.539
The White guard is all beaten up.

19
00:04:04.047 --> 00:04:07.666
But no one will ever
overpower the Red army!

20
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:12.052
The White guard is all beaten up

21
00:04:12.473 --> 00:04:15.806
No one will ever overpower
the Red army!

22
00:04:41.045 --> 00:04:42.622
Of all the proletariat janitors

23
00:04:43.172 --> 00:04:47.881
are the most vile filth.

24
00:04:49.971 --> 00:04:54.764
Human refuse of the basest sort.

25
00:04:58.855 --> 00:05:01.145
Cooks vary.

26
00:05:02.192 --> 00:05:08.314
Take Vlas, the late Vlas from
Prechistenka street. The lives he saved!

27
00:05:09.993 --> 00:05:15.236
When Vlas used to throw you a bone there was
always a good eighth of an inch of meat on it.

28
00:05:39.190 --> 00:05:42.108
Sharik, poor thing, you are so cold.

29
00:05:50.953 --> 00:05:52.696
A typist...

30
00:05:54.247 --> 00:05:58.199
He gets a category nine salary
of 45 roubles a month.

31
00:06:00.546 --> 00:06:05.457
He is underpaid at the office, they
give her rotten food at the canteen.

32
00:06:07.387 --> 00:06:10.424
He hasn't got enough money
for the cinema...

33
00:06:11.350 --> 00:06:16.308
...and the cinema is a woman's
one comfort in this life.

34
00:07:15.335 --> 00:07:17.791
Did any one ever kick you
on the backside with a boot?

35
00:07:18.797 --> 00:07:21.549
Or hit you with a brick in the ribs?

36
00:07:23.343 --> 00:07:26.712
My body is all broken, all beaten up.

37
00:07:28.557 --> 00:07:32.638
People have committed just about
every outrage you can think of on it.

38
00:07:34.230 --> 00:07:36.851
he called me Sharik.

39
00:07:37.775 --> 00:07:39.851
I am no Sharik, am I?

40
00:07:40.362 --> 00:07:43.481
Sharik is the sort of name
for a round, fat...

41
00:07:44.073 --> 00:07:49.281
...stupid dog that's fed on oatmeal,
a dog with a pedigree. And what about me?

42
00:07:50.498 --> 00:07:54.163
My future is crystal clear to me.

43
00:07:55.336 --> 00:07:58.751
Tomorrow I'll get pneumonia...

44
00:07:59.089 --> 00:08:02.506
...and having contracted that I,
dear citizens, will die of hunger.

45
00:08:03.886 --> 00:08:07.588
I will try to crawl about on my stomach,
getting weaker and weaker...

46
00:08:08.975 --> 00:08:12.060
...and the first toff will
finish me off with a stick.

47
00:08:19.570 --> 00:08:25.490
Yeah, this one wouldn't
eat rotten salt beef.

48
00:08:27.537 --> 00:08:31.582
What would he want to buy
in that filthy store?

49
00:08:34.253 --> 00:08:36.827
Sausage!

50
00:08:38.965 --> 00:08:42.335
Dear Sir! Better give it to me.

51
00:08:48.935 --> 00:08:52.054
As a matter of fact what use
is Special Cracowian to you?

52
00:08:52.481 --> 00:08:55.054
What good is a bit of rotten
old horse meat to you?

53
00:08:55.734 --> 00:09:00.776
It's only in Mosselprom
that you can get muck like that.

54
00:09:01.240 --> 00:09:05.369
There's nothing for it;
I will lick your hands.

55
00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:10.157
No collar.

56
00:09:10.583 --> 00:09:14.035
Excellent. You're just what I want.

57
00:09:16.339 --> 00:09:18.331
Come with me.

58
00:09:21.846 --> 00:09:28.263
Obukhov Alley? Very well. This place
is very well known to me.

59
00:09:41.616 --> 00:09:43.525
Good evening, Philipp Philippovich.

60
00:09:43.786 --> 00:09:46.703
Good evening, Fyodor. Any letters for me?
- None at all, sir.

61
00:09:48.832 --> 00:09:51.999
What are you waiting for?
Don't be afraid, come on.

62
00:09:52.420 --> 00:09:56.584
Hey, no, wait a minute. There's a porter
here... much more dangerous than janitors.

63
00:09:57.633 --> 00:09:59.377
Worse than cats.

64
00:09:59.928 --> 00:10:01.885
Come, come.

65
00:10:04.433 --> 00:10:05.891
Come in, please.

66
00:10:14.568 --> 00:10:20.073
Philipp Philippovich, there're new
residents just been put into Flat Three.

67
00:10:20.366 --> 00:10:24.233
- Really?
- Yes, indeed, sir, four of them.

68
00:10:25.830 --> 00:10:29.531
My God! I can just imagine what it must be like
in that flat now. What are they doing there?

69
00:10:31.712 --> 00:10:33.420
Nothing special, sir.

70
00:10:34.882 --> 00:10:36.506
And Fyodor Pavlovitch?

71
00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:41.884
He's gone to get some screens and bricks.
They're going make partitions, Philipp Philippovich.

72
00:10:43.308 --> 00:10:46.012
I don't know what the world
is coming to! Dear me, dear me!

73
00:10:47.228 --> 00:10:49.386
Come, come with me.

74
00:11:03.787 --> 00:11:07.453
Where on earth did you get that from,
Philipp Philippovich? He does look lousy.

75
00:11:07.750 --> 00:11:09.992
What nonsense. He isn't lousy.

76
00:11:12.505 --> 00:11:14.047
That's not lice.

77
00:11:19.763 --> 00:11:22.717
It's a scald. Who was mean enough
to throw boiling water over you? Eh?

78
00:11:23.016 --> 00:11:25.389
Take him into the consulting room
at once and get me my smock.

79
00:11:26.729 --> 00:11:30.941
Come with me. Come. This way, come.

80
00:11:44.498 --> 00:11:48.745
- Oh, I can't Philipp Philippovich!
- Doctor Bormenthal, get the ether!

81
00:11:52.340 --> 00:11:54.961
- Doctor Bormenthal!
- Hold on, you bastard!

82
00:11:55.469 --> 00:11:57.959
Zina, grab him by the scruff
of the neck, damn him!

83
00:11:58.430 --> 00:12:00.256
No electricity. Again.

84
00:12:12.695 --> 00:12:13.975
Just a moment.

85
00:12:17.199 --> 00:12:18.741
Look out, Doctor.

86
00:12:53.071 --> 00:12:58.742
...from Seville to Granada...
in the still of the night...

87
00:12:59.620 --> 00:13:05.955
Now, you little tramp, why did you bite the Doctor?
Eh? Why did you break all that glass?

88
00:13:06.627 --> 00:13:09.415
All right, you've come to,
so just lie there, stupid.

89
00:13:10.589 --> 00:13:15.383
o it's me who bit him.
That's my work.

90
00:13:16.638 --> 00:13:18.845
That'll mean a beating.

91
00:13:19.224 --> 00:13:23.056
However did you managed to lure such
a nervous dog, Philipp Philippovich.

92
00:13:24.438 --> 00:13:26.395
By kindness.

93
00:13:27.524 --> 00:13:31.523
The only way to deal
with a living being.

94
00:13:32.322 --> 00:13:37.778
Terror will get you nowhere. That I have maintained,
do maintain, and always will maintain.

95
00:13:38.203 --> 00:13:44.242
They believe, terror will
help them. Well, it won't.

96
00:13:44.835 --> 00:13:48.335
No matter which one it is -
white, red or even brown.

97
00:13:49.172 --> 00:13:54.002
Zina! I bought this good-for-nothing
some Cracowian sausage.

98
00:13:54.388 --> 00:13:58.088
Take the trouble to feed him
when he gets over his nausea.

99
00:13:58.475 --> 00:14:01.641
Cracowian sausage!? I'd rather eat
the Cracowian salami myself.

100
00:14:02.019 --> 00:14:06.897
Just you try! Poison to the human
stomach, that's what it is.

101
00:14:07.359 --> 00:14:12.567
You are a grown-up girl, but you go on putting all
sorts of nasty things into your mouth, like a child.

102
00:14:13.324 --> 00:14:18.401
Remember: neither me, nor doctor Bormenthal
will bother ourselves with you...

103
00:14:18.830 --> 00:14:21.367
...when you go down
with a stomach ache.

104
00:14:22.083 --> 00:14:26.710
o, you've come to?
Let's go see the patients.

105
00:14:35.973 --> 00:14:37.383
hut up.

106
00:14:40.978 --> 00:14:42.472
An old patient.

107
00:14:46.484 --> 00:14:48.441
Good afternoon, Professor.

108
00:14:49.070 --> 00:14:54.196
- Gracious me, I wouldn't have recognized you, my good man.
- You are a magician, a wizard, Professor.

109
00:14:55.076 --> 00:14:57.912
- How have you been sleeping?
- Are we alone, Professor?

110
00:14:58.372 --> 00:15:04.625
Incredible. Parole d'honneur, I haven't
known anything like that for 25 years.

111
00:15:05.171 --> 00:15:07.247
Believe it or not...

112
00:15:08.257 --> 00:15:12.421
...every night I dream of naked
girls - hordes of them.

113
00:15:13.179 --> 00:15:14.804
Take off your pants.

114
00:15:15.098 --> 00:15:19.844
Oh, Professor, if only you had discovered
a way of rejuvenating hair too!

115
00:15:20.313 --> 00:15:23.182
One thing at a time, my dear,
one thing at a time.

116
00:15:31.741 --> 00:15:34.363
Look here, you shouldn't overdo it,
you know.

117
00:15:34.661 --> 00:15:40.332
I don't. Only as a sort of experiment,
dear Professor.

118
00:15:40.668 --> 00:15:42.576
Well, and what were the results?

119
00:15:43.462 --> 00:15:47.625
Oh! wear to God, I haven't known
anything like that for 25 years.

120
00:15:48.801 --> 00:15:56.014
The last time was in 1899
in Paris on the Rue de la Paix.

121
00:15:57.143 --> 00:16:00.145
Excellent. Everything
is in great shape.

122
00:16:00.521 --> 00:16:02.977
I admit, I never expected
such results.

123
00:16:03.734 --> 00:16:09.986
dreams of blood and song galore...

124
00:16:11.075 --> 00:16:14.609
And to the one who's
most enchanting...

125
00:16:17.206 --> 00:16:20.541
One, two, three.

126
00:16:27.718 --> 00:16:31.762
You need not come for another check-up for two weeks.
- Thank you.

127
00:16:41.607 --> 00:16:45.023
The age is not filled in correctly.
It is probably between 54 and 55.

128
00:16:45.737 --> 00:16:47.943
Heartbeat's muffled.

129
00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:57.702
- Do come in.
- Good afternoon, Professor.

130
00:16:59.793 --> 00:17:03.329
- How old are you, madam?
- Oh, Professor...

131
00:17:04.298 --> 00:17:08.083
Professor, I swear that if you knew
the agony I've been going through..!

132
00:17:08.386 --> 00:17:11.755
- Your age, madam?
- Upon my honour...

133
00:17:12.682 --> 00:17:15.137
Well, I am 45.

134
00:17:15.560 --> 00:17:19.392
Madam, there are people waiting. Please don't waste my time.
You're not my only patient, you know.

135
00:17:19.689 --> 00:17:23.272
I will tell you and you only
as a luminary of science.

136
00:17:23.611 --> 00:17:27.230
- How old are you, madam?
- That is just awful. I am 51.

137
00:17:27.615 --> 00:17:30.106
Take off your knickers. This way.

138
00:17:30.451 --> 00:17:34.318
It is such agony, Professor.
It is so appalling.

139
00:17:34.914 --> 00:17:38.285
I am at a loss what to do.
Help me, Professor.

140
00:17:40.086 --> 00:17:42.163
Not too moral a flat.

141
00:17:43.507 --> 00:17:45.583
But what comfort.

142
00:17:47.010 --> 00:17:50.462
What the hell can he want me for?

143
00:17:50.890 --> 00:17:54.341
Will he let me live here?
What an eccentric.

144
00:17:55.102 --> 00:17:59.930
He could get a pedigreed dog
at the drop of a hat.

145
00:18:00.691 --> 00:18:05.983
And what if I am good-looking?
I must be lucky.

146
00:18:08.451 --> 00:18:11.404
But that owl is trash.

147
00:18:11.954 --> 00:18:13.448
Get dressed.

148
00:18:17.085 --> 00:18:22.791
I swear, Professor, this boy Moritz…
He is my only passion.

149
00:18:25.135 --> 00:18:28.301
He cheats at cards. He is notorious
throughout Moscow.

150
00:18:28.596 --> 00:18:31.717
He can't resist a single
disgusting little salesgirl.

151
00:18:32.142 --> 00:18:34.514
But he is so devilishly young!

152
00:18:36.314 --> 00:18:39.314
I will implant the ovaries of
a monkey into your body, madam.

153
00:18:41.735 --> 00:18:46.481
What? Not a monkey, surely,
Professor?

154
00:18:46.950 --> 00:18:48.657
Yes.

155
00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:51.491
When is the operation?

156
00:18:52.331 --> 00:18:57.123
...from Seville to Granada...
in the still of the night...

157
00:18:57.419 --> 00:19:02.296
Monday. You will go into the clinic in the
morning, my assistant will prepare you.

158
00:19:02.550 --> 00:19:07.011
No, I don't want to go into the hospital.
Can't you do it here, Professor?

159
00:19:07.347 --> 00:19:11.261
Impossible. You see, I operate
at home only in extreme cases.

160
00:19:12.103 --> 00:19:15.803
It will be too expensive.
500 roubles.

161
00:19:16.106 --> 00:19:18.229
- That is all right.
- ettled.

162
00:19:18.817 --> 00:19:20.560
Good bye, Professor.

163
00:19:29.329 --> 00:19:31.819
Is there anyone here
besides the tenants?

164
00:19:33.249 --> 00:19:35.871
- No.
- Where is the Professor?

165
00:19:37.003 --> 00:19:39.044
Over there.

166
00:19:51.311 --> 00:19:54.227
- Have you come to see me?
- Don't worry, comrade.

167
00:19:54.648 --> 00:19:58.182
We've come to see you, Professor,
on a matter of business.

168
00:19:58.443 --> 00:20:02.773
You, my good sirs, are most unwise to be going around
without galoshes. In the first place you'll catch cold.

169
00:20:03.073 --> 00:20:08.412
In the second you've left dirty footprints all
over my carpets and all my carpets are Persian.

170
00:20:08.746 --> 00:20:12.790
In the first place, we are not your good sirs.
- In the first place, are you a man or a woman?

171
00:20:14.626 --> 00:20:17.462
- What difference does it make, comrade?
- I am a woman.

172
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:20.211
In that case you may
keep your cap on.

173
00:20:20.384 --> 00:20:23.717
As for you, dear sir,
be so kind and take yours off.

174
00:20:24.012 --> 00:20:26.847
Don't “dear sir” me.

175
00:20:27.181 --> 00:20:31.595
We've come to see you Professor on a matter of business.
- Who are we?

176
00:20:33.522 --> 00:20:36.689
We are the new House Management
Committee of this block.

177
00:20:37.276 --> 00:20:41.440
I am Shvonder, her name
is Viazemskaya.

178
00:20:42.991 --> 00:20:46.407
Comrade Pestrukhin and
comrade Zharovkin.

179
00:20:47.621 --> 00:20:52.911
It was you who settled into Fyodor Pavlovich Sablin's flat?
- Us.

180
00:20:54.628 --> 00:21:00.049
Ah, God, this house is finished. What's
going to happen to the steam heating?

181
00:21:00.425 --> 00:21:03.713
- Are you making fun of us, Professor?
- Far from it...

182
00:21:04.055 --> 00:21:09.096
o, what brings you here?
Be brief, it's my dinner time.

183
00:21:10.311 --> 00:21:13.182
We've come to see you Professor
for the following reason.

184
00:21:14.482 --> 00:21:18.611
We, the House Committee, have come to see
you after a general meeting of the tenants...

185
00:21:19.155 --> 00:21:23.947
...of this block, at which the question
of the reallocation of living space stood...

186
00:21:25.035 --> 00:21:27.112
Who stood on whom?

187
00:21:27.622 --> 00:21:30.742
Be so good as to express
yourself more clearly.

188
00:21:31.167 --> 00:21:34.418
The question of the reallocation
of living space stood on the agenda.

189
00:21:34.796 --> 00:21:37.750
Do you realize, that
under the regulation...

190
00:21:38.091 --> 00:21:41.626
...of April twelfth 1924...

191
00:21:43.305 --> 00:21:47.635
...my flat is exempt from any and
every reallocation and resettlement?

192
00:21:47.977 --> 00:21:53.730
We know that. But when the general meeting
after due consideration of the question...

193
00:21:54.567 --> 00:21:59.230
...came to the conclusion that, by
and large, you occupy too much space.

194
00:21:59.531 --> 00:22:03.481
- Far too much.
- You live alone in seven rooms!

195
00:22:03.785 --> 00:22:06.989
I live and work in seven rooms.

196
00:22:13.046 --> 00:22:17.339
And I should very much like an eighth.
I need a room for a library.

197
00:22:17.592 --> 00:22:20.842
- An eighth? That's cool.
- Incredible.

198
00:22:21.179 --> 00:22:27.348
Excuse me, Professor, but the general meeting
of the tenants of this block requests you...

199
00:22:27.770 --> 00:22:31.933
...as a matter of labour discipline...

200
00:22:32.691 --> 00:22:34.768
...to give up your dining
room voluntarily.

201
00:22:36.195 --> 00:22:40.109
- No one in Moscow has dining rooms.
- Not even Isadora Duncan.

202
00:22:40.449 --> 00:22:45.955
And also that you should give up the consulting room.
Your study can double perfectly well as a consulting room.

203
00:22:46.331 --> 00:22:48.573
- Quite so.
- Is that right, comrades?

204
00:22:48.874 --> 00:22:51.284
Where am I supposed
to partake of food?

205
00:22:51.671 --> 00:22:54.126
In the bedroom.

206
00:22:55.841 --> 00:23:00.634
I expect that is what
Isadora Duncan does.

207
00:23:01.055 --> 00:23:05.350
Perhaps she dines in her study and
dissects rabbits in her bathroom.

208
00:23:05.727 --> 00:23:09.143
Perhaps. But I am not Isadora Duncan.

209
00:23:10.648 --> 00:23:14.481
I will dine in the dining room and
operate in the operating theatre.

210
00:23:14.778 --> 00:23:18.194
Pray inform the general meeting of this.
And meanwhile kindly allow me...

211
00:23:18.365 --> 00:23:21.900
...to take supper where
all normal people do so.

212
00:23:22.703 --> 00:23:25.620
And not in the hall and
not in the nursery!

213
00:23:29.836 --> 00:23:34.083
In that case, Professor,
in view of your stubborn resistance...

214
00:23:36.259 --> 00:23:39.130
...we shall complain about you
to higher authorities.

215
00:23:39.638 --> 00:23:42.556
Just a moment. Please, wait a minute.

216
00:23:48.731 --> 00:23:53.310
Put me through to Pyotr Alexandrovich.
Professor Preobrazhensky.

217
00:23:53.695 --> 00:23:58.819
Pyotr Alexandrovich? I am glad I was
able to reach you. Thank you, I am well.

218
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:02.534
Pyotr Alexandrovich,
your operation is cancelled.

219
00:24:03.038 --> 00:24:05.327
And so are all my other operations.

220
00:24:05.666 --> 00:24:08.702
I am giving up my practice in Moscow
and in Russia in general.

221
00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:14.414
Four people have just come in to see me.
One of whom is a woman dressed as a man.

222
00:24:14.967 --> 00:24:20.259
Two men are armed with revolvers.
They are terrorizing me!

223
00:24:21.057 --> 00:24:23.216
Pardon... Professor...

224
00:24:23.601 --> 00:24:26.436
I cannot work under such conditions
and have no right to.

225
00:24:26.729 --> 00:24:32.567
o I shall cease my activities,
lock up my flat, and go to Sochi.

226
00:24:33.112 --> 00:24:36.563
I can leave the keys with Shvonder.
Let him operate.

227
00:24:37.533 --> 00:24:39.609
But on one condition.

228
00:24:40.285 --> 00:24:44.451
I don't care who, where or what,

229
00:24:45.125 --> 00:24:49.870
...provided it's the sort of paper
that would keep Shvonder...

230
00:24:50.755 --> 00:24:55.881
...or whoever from even approaching
the door of my apartment!

231
00:24:56.553 --> 00:24:59.888
The ultimate in certificates.
Factual!

232
00:25:00.391 --> 00:25:02.799
Real! A true protection!

233
00:25:04.354 --> 00:25:08.268
I don't want my name even mentioned!
As far as they are concerned, I am dead.

234
00:25:08.900 --> 00:25:12.068
Hand the receiver to Shvonder.

235
00:25:13.614 --> 00:25:16.365
Would you mind, you're wanted
on the telephone.

236
00:25:20.621 --> 00:25:23.991
Hello. Yes... I'm Shvonder, the chairman
of the House Management Committee.

237
00:25:33.343 --> 00:25:38.503
Yes. We were only acting according
to the regulations... I understand.

238
00:25:40.684 --> 00:25:43.140
The Professor has quite
exceptional privileges anyway.

239
00:25:43.604 --> 00:25:45.762
We know about his work.

240
00:25:46.274 --> 00:25:49.393
We were going to leave him
no less than five rooms...

241
00:26:01.957 --> 00:26:05.160
This is a disgrace.

242
00:26:11.508 --> 00:26:14.593
If there were a discussion now I would
prove to this Pyotr Alexandrovich...

243
00:26:14.887 --> 00:26:18.802
Pardon me, do you wish to open
a discussion right now?

244
00:26:19.100 --> 00:26:21.722
I can understand your irony,
Professor.

245
00:26:22.020 --> 00:26:26.563
We will leave now. till, as chairman of
the cultural department of this house I...

246
00:26:26.817 --> 00:26:28.975
- Chairwoman.
- Chairwoman.

247
00:26:29.736 --> 00:26:34.980
...I suggest that you buy some of these magazines
sold for the benefit of the children of Germany.

248
00:26:35.326 --> 00:26:38.612
- Fifty kopecks a copy.
- No. I will not.

249
00:26:38.955 --> 00:26:43.249
- But why not?
- I don't want to.

250
00:26:44.670 --> 00:26:49.794
You have no sympathy for the children of Germany?
- I do have sympathy.

251
00:26:50.425 --> 00:26:53.047
- You grudge fifty kopecks?
- No.

252
00:26:53.762 --> 00:26:56.965
- Why then?
- I don't want them.

253
00:26:58.810 --> 00:27:04.350
You know, Professor, if you were not
a luminary known throughout Europe...

254
00:27:04.649 --> 00:27:07.686
...if you hadn't been interceded for by
certain people in the most disgraceful way...

255
00:27:08.111 --> 00:27:11.645
...you should be arrested.
- What for?

256
00:27:12.407 --> 00:27:18.411
- You don't like the proletariat.
- No, I don't like the proletariat.

257
00:27:19.415 --> 00:27:23.911
Zina, dear, do please, serve the supper.
With your permission, ladies and gentlemen?

258
00:27:36.933 --> 00:27:41.228
Doctor Bormenthal, pray, leave
the caviar alone, will you.

259
00:27:42.231 --> 00:27:46.099
I'd like to give you a piece of sound
advice, pour yourself some Russian vodka...

260
00:27:46.444 --> 00:27:50.311
...instead of the English vodka.
- With the blessing of the state?

261
00:27:50.614 --> 00:27:55.076
How could you, my dear fellow.
Darya Petrovna prepares excellent homemade vodka herself.

262
00:27:55.495 --> 00:27:57.453
I wouldn't say that,
Philipp Philippovich...

263
00:27:57.665 --> 00:28:00.831
...everybody says that the new vodka
is quite good, 30 proof.

264
00:28:01.084 --> 00:28:04.168
Vodka should be at least 40 proof,
not 30, that's number one.

265
00:28:04.504 --> 00:28:07.078
And number two, one can never tell
what muck they put into it nowadays.

266
00:28:07.299 --> 00:28:10.301
- Can you tell me what may occur to them?
- Anything.

267
00:28:12.847 --> 00:28:14.590
That's just what I think.

268
00:28:18.561 --> 00:28:22.181
And now, Ivan Arnoldovich,
gulp this little bit at once.

269
00:28:26.278 --> 00:28:30.407
And if you tell me you don't like it,
you are my sworn enemy for life.

270
00:28:40.668 --> 00:28:43.954
You don't like it? You don't?

271
00:28:44.881 --> 00:28:46.921
Answer me, dear Doctor.

272
00:28:47.968 --> 00:28:51.337
It's excellent.
- I should think so. Mind you, Ivan Arnoldovich, that the only people,

273
00:28:51.846 --> 00:28:57.637
...who take vodka with cold collations and soup are a few remaining
landlords whom the Bolsheviks didn't have time to murder.

274
00:28:57.979 --> 00:29:03.222
Anybody with a spark of self-respect
takes his hors d'oeuvres hot.

275
00:29:03.818 --> 00:29:07.733
And of all the hot hors d'oeuvres
in Moscow, this is the best one.

276
00:29:08.698 --> 00:29:14.819
Once they used to coоk it magnificently
in Slavic Market.

277
00:29:17.959 --> 00:29:19.239
There, take it.

278
00:29:23.547 --> 00:29:27.498
If you feed a dog at table, afterward you
won't get him out of here for love or money.

279
00:29:28.137 --> 00:29:31.302
I don't mind.
The poor thing's starved.

280
00:29:33.350 --> 00:29:38.974
Food, Ivan Arnoldovich, is a subtle
thing. One must know how to eat.

281
00:29:39.898 --> 00:29:44.192
And yet just think of it that most people
don't know how to eat at all.

282
00:29:44.570 --> 00:29:51.867
One must not only know what to eat, but
when and how, and what to say while eating.

283
00:29:52.370 --> 00:29:57.116
If you care about your digestion,
my advice is:

284
00:29:57.417 --> 00:30:02.957
...don't talk about Bolshevism
or medicine at table.

285
00:30:03.257 --> 00:30:07.420
And, God forbid - never read soviet
newspapers before dinner.

286
00:30:08.470 --> 00:30:12.220
- But there are no other newspapers.
- o don't read any at all.

287
00:30:13.017 --> 00:30:17.062
I once made thirty tests in my clinic.
And guess what?

288
00:30:17.522 --> 00:30:22.184
Those of my patients whom
I forced to read  "Pravda"

289
00:30:22.695 --> 00:30:24.771
...lost weight.

290
00:30:26.198 --> 00:30:29.200
And to top it off they had retarded
knee reflexes, lost appetite...

291
00:30:29.535 --> 00:30:32.985
...and exhibited symptoms
of general depression. Yes.

292
00:30:34.540 --> 00:30:42.500
The difficult years of fighting

293
00:30:43.634 --> 00:30:50.764
for the liberty of this
country are gone.

294
00:30:52.768 --> 00:31:00.978
The ones that follow them

295
00:31:02.570 --> 00:31:10.282
are also difficult.

296
00:31:11.996 --> 00:31:14.120
Zina, my dear, what's that noise?

297
00:31:15.084 --> 00:31:18.168
- They're having another general meeting.
- What, again?

298
00:31:18.671 --> 00:31:22.752
Oh well, so it's started. This is the end of this house.
Mow they'll get things rolling.

299
00:31:23.050 --> 00:31:25.755
First of all, there'll be community singing every evening,
then the pipes will freeze in the lavatories...

300
00:31:26.054 --> 00:31:28.627
...then the steam-heating pipes
will blow up, and so on.

301
00:31:28.973 --> 00:31:31.643
You paint too grim a picture,
Philipp Philippovich.

302
00:31:31.893 --> 00:31:33.685
They're very different now.

303
00:31:33.937 --> 00:31:37.388
And I won't mention the boiler,
my dear...

304
00:31:38.275 --> 00:31:42.107
Let them! When there's a social revolution
going on, one does without central heating.

305
00:31:42.529 --> 00:31:46.658
But I ask you, why all this,
when did it all start...

306
00:31:47.034 --> 00:31:52.575
...Why is everybody marching up and down the
marble staircase in dirty galoshes and felt boots?

307
00:31:53.041 --> 00:31:55.199
Just listen to that!

308
00:31:55.753 --> 00:32:00.248
Why must we still keep galoshes
under lock and key...

309
00:32:00.507 --> 00:32:03.877
...and put a soldier on guard over them
to prevent them from being stolen?

310
00:32:04.178 --> 00:32:09.517
He could well be making money speaking
at meetings. A First rate speaker.

311
00:32:09.808 --> 00:32:12.478
Why was the carpet removed
from the main staircase?

312
00:32:16.441 --> 00:32:22.776
Is it that Karl Marx forbids people
to cover staircases with carpets?

313
00:32:23.657 --> 00:32:29.328
Did Karl Marx write somewhere, that the front door
Number Two of the house on Prechistenka street...

314
00:32:29.622 --> 00:32:35.327
...should be boarded up, so that people have
to go around and come in by the back door?

315
00:32:37.464 --> 00:32:41.212
What good does it do to anybody?
Why can't the proletariat leave...

316
00:32:41.551 --> 00:32:45.798
...his dirty galoshes downstairs
instead of dirtying the marble?

317
00:32:46.515 --> 00:32:49.682
- But the proletarians don't have any galoshes at all, Philipp Philippovich.
- Nothing of the sort.

318
00:32:51.604 --> 00:32:55.222
They do have galoshes now
and those galoshes are mine!

319
00:32:56.108 --> 00:32:59.976
The very same galoshes
that disappeared in 1918.

320
00:33:00.279 --> 00:33:02.651
o the question is who pinched
them? Me? Impossible.

321
00:33:03.200 --> 00:33:07.280
Sablin the bourgeois? Polozov,
the sugar manufacturer? On no account.

322
00:33:07.621 --> 00:33:11.156
It was done by those
songbirds up there.

323
00:33:11.750 --> 00:33:15.000
Bu if only they would take them off
when they go upstairs.

324
00:33:15.713 --> 00:33:18.630
Why on earth did they have to remove
flowers from the landings?

325
00:33:19.175 --> 00:33:24.715
Why does the electricity, which if I remember right
only failed twice in the past twenty years...

326
00:33:24.931 --> 00:33:27.885
...now go out regularly twice a day?

327
00:33:28.184 --> 00:33:32.348
It's ruin, Philipp Philippovich.
- And what does this "ruin" of yours mean?

328
00:33:32.898 --> 00:33:34.973
An old woman with a broomstick?

329
00:33:35.316 --> 00:33:39.481
A witch who smashed all the windows
and put out all the lights?

330
00:33:41.199 --> 00:33:46.870
No such thing. What do you
mean by that word?

331
00:33:51.126 --> 00:33:56.286
I'll tell you what it is: If instead of operating
every evening I were to start singing in chorus...

332
00:33:58.050 --> 00:34:01.584
...in my apartment,
I would get Disruption.

333
00:34:02.763 --> 00:34:07.721
If when I go to the lavatory I don't pee, if you'll excuse
the expression, into the bowl but on the floor instead...

334
00:34:08.060 --> 00:34:12.972
...and if Zina and Darya Petrovna do the same,
there would be Disruption in he lavatory.

335
00:34:13.441 --> 00:34:16.857
Ruin, therefore, does not happen
in lavatories, but in people's heads.

336
00:34:17.863 --> 00:34:22.987
So when those baritones start
howling "Stop the ruin"

337
00:34:23.368 --> 00:34:25.906
Really, I laugh.

338
00:34:26.496 --> 00:34:30.958
It means that every one of them should
hit himself on the back of the head!

339
00:34:31.419 --> 00:34:34.953
And then when he has knocked
all the hallucinations out...

340
00:34:35.339 --> 00:34:39.124
...and gets down to cleaning out the barns -
which is his job in the first place...

341
00:34:39.552 --> 00:34:41.878
...all this Disruption will
disappear of its own accord.

342
00:34:43.557 --> 00:34:50.355
You can't serve two gods,
dear doctor.

343
00:34:51.357 --> 00:34:56.648
You can't sweep the dirt out of the
streetcar tracks and settle the fate...

344
00:34:57.780 --> 00:35:01.197
...of some foreign beggars
at the same time.

345
00:35:02.201 --> 00:35:04.740
You sound like a counterrevolutionary,
Philipp Philippovich.

346
00:35:05.121 --> 00:35:07.612
Nothing dangerous. Nothing
counterrevolutionary.

347
00:35:08.166 --> 00:35:12.959
Incidentally, that's another word
I simply can't stand.

348
00:35:13.255 --> 00:35:16.588
What the devil is it supposed
to mean, anyway? Nobody knows.

349
00:35:17.051 --> 00:35:19.968
o, there's nothing counterrevolutionary
in what I am saying.

350
00:35:20.554 --> 00:35:23.840
It's full of sound sense
and a lifetime of experience.

351
00:35:26.144 --> 00:35:30.437
Merci. Do you need me this evening,
Philipp Philippovich?

352
00:35:30.774 --> 00:35:34.689
No, thank you. We won't
do anything today.

353
00:35:37.239 --> 00:35:41.320
For one thing, the rabbit is dead,
and for another there's \x22Aida\x22 at the Bolshoi tonight.

354
00:35:41.743 --> 00:35:44.235
It's a long time since I heard it.
Do you remember that duo?

355
00:35:46.708 --> 00:35:50.243
- I'll go in time for the second act.
- How do you find time for everything, Philipp Philippovich?

356
00:35:50.502 --> 00:35:53.838
One can find time for everything
if one is never in a hurry.

357
00:35:54.340 --> 00:35:57.258
I believe in the division
of labour, Doctor.

358
00:35:57.678 --> 00:36:03.183
Let them at the Bolshoi sing and I shall operate.
And that's right. And there'd be no Disruption.

359
00:36:03.517 --> 00:36:06.352
Is you flank going to heal soon?

360
00:36:07.314 --> 00:36:12.105
And there's something else, Ivan Arnoldovich,
be on the lookout, as soon as there is a suitable corpse...

361
00:36:12.568 --> 00:36:15.487
...take it straight from the table,
place it into the nutritional fluid and bring it to me.

362
00:36:15.739 --> 00:36:19.273
Don't worry, Philipp Philippovich,
the pathologists have promised me.

363
00:36:19.743 --> 00:36:23.871
Professor, it will be an experiment
unparalleled in the world.

364
00:36:25.124 --> 00:36:31.245
No doubt. Meanwhile, we'll examine
this neurotic street Arab of ours.

365
00:36:32.923 --> 00:36:35.593
Soon we'll need you.

366
00:39:26.317 --> 00:39:28.144
I am handsome.

367
00:39:29.445 --> 00:39:33.526
Perhaps I'm a dog prince,
living incognito.

368
00:39:35.536 --> 00:39:39.118
I wouldn't be surprised if my grandmother
had had an affair with a Labrador.

369
00:39:40.333 --> 00:39:44.829
That explains the white patch on my snout.
I wonder how it got there?

370
00:39:58.227 --> 00:40:01.596
...from Seville to Granada...

371
00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:07.945
in the still of the night...

372
00:40:09.364 --> 00:40:12.899
You can here the serenade...

373
00:40:26.923 --> 00:40:31.586
Oh you are like a devil! top it!
Zina may be back any minute.

374
00:40:32.638 --> 00:40:35.593
What's the matter with you -
have you been rejuvenated too?

375
00:40:35.892 --> 00:40:40.851
I don't need rejuvenating!
You're so passionate!

376
00:40:43.107 --> 00:40:45.350
Get out, get out!

377
00:40:45.694 --> 00:40:48.945
homeless bastard! I'll hit you
with a log, don't you spy on us!

378
00:40:52.326 --> 00:40:55.326
I didn't clear it up on purpose so
that you could take a good look.

379
00:40:57.039 --> 00:41:01.369
You should rub his nose in the owl,
so that he learns not to spoil things.

380
00:41:07.134 --> 00:41:11.595
Why did you ruin the owl, you little
bastard? Was the owl doing you any harm?

381
00:41:11.847 --> 00:41:16.593
Was it, now? Why did you smash
the portrait of Professor Mechnikov?

382
00:41:16.852 --> 00:41:19.936
He needs at least one good hiding, Philipp Philippovich,
or he'll become completely spoiled.

383
00:41:20.147 --> 00:41:23.065
Just look what he's done to your
galoshes, Philipp Philippovich.

384
00:41:23.234 --> 00:41:26.151
Nobody must be beaten. Never.
Remember that once and for all.

385
00:41:26.613 --> 00:41:30.231
Animals and humans can only
be dealt with by persuasion.

386
00:41:31.117 --> 00:41:32.862
Have you given him his meat today?

387
00:41:33.162 --> 00:41:36.447
Lord, he's eaten everything there's in the
house. I'm surprised he doesn't burst.

388
00:41:36.749 --> 00:41:39.157
Let him eat. It's good for him.

389
00:41:39.584 --> 00:41:43.120
Did Doctor Bormenthal call? No murders today?
- No.

390
00:41:45.049 --> 00:41:50.885
end the owl to the taxidermist today.
Now then, here's eight roubles,

391
00:41:52.557 --> 00:41:55.677
...and another sixteen kopecks
for the carfare.

392
00:41:56.937 --> 00:42:01.101
Go over to Myur's and
buy a good collar.

393
00:42:03.944 --> 00:42:09.698
What harm did professor Mechnikov
do to you? Little hoodlum.

394
00:42:23.674 --> 00:42:25.049
Good boy.

395
00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:31.431
There's a good dog.

396
00:42:36.020 --> 00:42:39.390
Where are you going? Come to me.

397
00:42:39.733 --> 00:42:44.111
Where are you going? Come to me.
Come, come.

398
00:42:50.035 --> 00:42:53.156
A collar's just like a briefcase.

399
00:42:53.664 --> 00:42:56.784
I have won the main dog's prize.

400
00:42:57.418 --> 00:43:02.875
A knife wound in the heart? Excellent.
Bring it round at once, at once.

401
00:43:07.720 --> 00:43:12.265
Zina! Tell Darya Petrovna to answer
telephone calls and take notes. No visitors.

402
00:43:13.769 --> 00:43:15.726
Get dressed, I need you here.

403
00:43:25.491 --> 00:43:32.372
The dead man - Klim Grigorievich Chugunkin,
25 years old, single, not a party member, compassionate.
.

404
00:43:32.706 --> 00:43:38.495
Brought before court three times and found not
guilty the first time for lack of evidence...

405
00:43:38.922 --> 00:43:45.042
...the second time he was saved by his social origins, the
third time given a suspended sentence of 15 years hard labour.

406
00:43:46.929 --> 00:43:50.797
Thefts. Profession: Plays
the balalaika in pubs.

407
00:43:51.227 --> 00:43:53.433
Enlarged liver (alcohol).

408
00:43:54.354 --> 00:43:58.566
Cause of death: struck in the heart
with a knife in a pub.

409
00:43:59.776 --> 00:44:03.359
Quiet, come, come with me.

410
00:44:07.618 --> 00:44:10.905
Come on, Sharik? Sharik.

411
00:44:11.831 --> 00:44:13.741
Come here, don't be afraid.

412
00:44:18.338 --> 00:44:21.423
Zina, take off the collar,
only don't excite him.

413
00:44:25.138 --> 00:44:27.260
Doctor, the ether, quick.

414
00:45:07.099 --> 00:45:09.424
May I leave now, Philipp Philippovich?

415
00:45:10.270 --> 00:45:11.727
You may.

416
00:45:17.610 --> 00:45:22.521
Well, doctor. All in all we have
nine and a half minutes.

417
00:45:25.827 --> 00:45:27.369
God help us. The knife.

418
00:45:49.352 --> 00:45:50.894
scissors.

419
00:46:06.412 --> 00:46:08.037
Give me the glands.

420
00:46:26.184 --> 00:46:28.888
Put in the stitches, doctor,
sew the skin this instant.

421
00:46:36.944 --> 00:46:39.483
No one in Europe could equal
you, by God, Professor.

422
00:46:39.865 --> 00:46:42.652
Cut it out. Turn him over.

423
00:46:55.298 --> 00:46:56.923
Quicker.

424
00:47:00.679 --> 00:47:02.054
Trepan.

425
00:47:13.651 --> 00:47:16.320
- The pulse is dropping.
- Injection.

426
00:47:22.410 --> 00:47:24.984
- Into the heart?
- Why ask?

427
00:47:25.706 --> 00:47:28.493
He would have been dead five times
on your hands. Make the injection.

428
00:47:33.379 --> 00:47:37.081
- He is alive, but only just.
- top musing: alive, not alive.

429
00:47:40.680 --> 00:47:42.222
Give me the pituitary.

430
00:48:16.342 --> 00:48:18.169
10 minutes.

431
00:48:18.886 --> 00:48:20.714
He is dead of course?

432
00:48:21.223 --> 00:48:24.141
- A thread of a pulse.
- Stitch him up.

433
00:48:25.728 --> 00:48:30.224
Zina, I want clean
clothes and a bath.

434
00:48:35.739 --> 00:48:38.858
I'll be damned! Just look at him,
he is not dead yet.

435
00:48:39.283 --> 00:48:41.360
All the same he'll die.

436
00:48:43.079 --> 00:48:47.078
I feel sorry for the dog, he was good and
affectionate although he had his little ways.

437
00:48:51.631 --> 00:48:55.416
And so, Timofeeva, you want
to christen your twins?

438
00:48:55.718 --> 00:48:58.007
I want to name them.

439
00:48:59.013 --> 00:49:02.513
That's right, I propose
the following names:

440
00:49:03.434 --> 00:49:07.599
Barricade, Bebelina, Festelina...

441
00:49:08.106 --> 00:49:10.859
No, no, no. No.

442
00:49:11.402 --> 00:49:16.479
Let's give them simple names:
Clara and Rose.

443
00:49:17.616 --> 00:49:22.743
In honour of Clara Zetkin
and Rose Luxembourg, comrades.

444
00:49:23.707 --> 00:49:30.041
The red thunderstorms are past

445
00:49:31.339 --> 00:49:38.754
We have won a victory.

446
00:49:39.640 --> 00:49:47.851
Mop up the tears shed in battle

447
00:49:49.359 --> 00:49:57.534
With your sleeve.

448
00:50:01.373 --> 00:50:03.199
Meet my colleagues.

449
00:50:03.750 --> 00:50:07.119
Vasily Vasilievich Bundarev,
Professor specializing in skin diseases.

450
00:50:07.378 --> 00:50:10.794
Nikolai Nikolaevitch Persikov,

451
00:50:10.966 --> 00:50:13.457
...director of the Moscow Exemplary Veterinarian Institute...
- How do you do.

452
00:50:13.635 --> 00:50:15.130
This way, please.

453
00:50:19.307 --> 00:50:20.850
You may begin, Doctor.

454
00:50:21.351 --> 00:50:24.139
I am at a loss. By God,
it's unbelievable.

455
00:50:24.522 --> 00:50:26.265
tart reading.

456
00:50:27.149 --> 00:50:31.444
On December the 23rd Prof. Preobrazhensky
commenced the first operation of its kind...

457
00:50:31.655 --> 00:50:34.229
...to be performed in Europe.

458
00:50:34.657 --> 00:50:39.201
Under chloroform anesthesia the dog's
testicles and pituitary gland were removed...

459
00:50:39.538 --> 00:50:44.662
..and replaced by implanted human testes
and pituitary taken from a dead male.

460
00:50:45.043 --> 00:50:48.875
Purpose of the operation: conduct
an experiment to find out...

461
00:50:49.214 --> 00:50:53.924
...about the functional viability of the pituitary
in a host organism and its role in rejuvenation.

462
00:50:54.220 --> 00:50:58.598
Operation performed by: Prof. P.P. Preobrazhensky,
Assisted by: Dr. I.A. Bormenthal.

463
00:50:59.100 --> 00:51:03.680
- Very interesting. And the outcome?
- Yes, what are the results?

464
00:51:03.981 --> 00:51:06.472
The results are amazing.

465
00:51:06.900 --> 00:51:10.899
There has been malting of hair on the
forehead and along the sides of the torso.

466
00:51:11.155 --> 00:51:17.241
The bark instead now sounds more like
"ah" and "uh".

467
00:51:17.495 --> 00:51:23.700
But the most important point is the lengthening of the
extremities and the replacement of claws with nails.

468
00:51:31.677 --> 00:51:33.634
This way. Doctor.

469
00:51:35.140 --> 00:51:36.550
Gentlemen.

470
00:51:54.076 --> 00:51:55.535
Very strange.

471
00:51:56.162 --> 00:51:59.116
These symptoms appeared on the fourth
day following the operation.

472
00:52:02.334 --> 00:52:07.081
- The nails grow at an incredible pace.
- I've been watching it for two days now.

473
00:52:07.381 --> 00:52:11.925
Congratulations, colleague. Wells'
characters are nothing compared to you.

474
00:52:12.596 --> 00:52:16.842
Well, I thought it was all rubbish.
- What use talking about Wells and minor matters.

475
00:52:17.184 --> 00:52:22.640
Colleague, what you did was unheard of.
It's a revolution in medicine. A triumph!

476
00:52:23.107 --> 00:52:27.685
I am very glad. But still, colleagues:
what is the diagnosis?

477
00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:32.615
Such cases are not described in literature.
- I am at a loss.

478
00:52:33.243 --> 00:52:37.704
No one has observed anything
like that. Let us keep watching.

479
00:52:38.373 --> 00:52:40.165
Give him some herring.

480
00:52:42.587 --> 00:52:45.256
A change in taste occurred yesterday.

481
00:53:06.153 --> 00:53:08.560
People are saying Martians
live here now.

482
00:53:10.032 --> 00:53:15.323
To hell with Maritans. Look, here it is in black
and white in the paper of January the 7th:

483
00:53:16.164 --> 00:53:20.791
...rumours about Martians in Obukhov alley
are spread by traders in Sukharevka...

484
00:53:21.210 --> 00:53:25.956
...they will be severely punished. Is that clear?
- o what the hell are you doing here?

485
00:53:30.387 --> 00:53:32.296
God knows.

486
00:53:41.148 --> 00:53:46.605
When I get my manuscript published I'll stress,
that I couldn't have managed without you.

487
00:53:47.113 --> 00:53:49.866
That doesn't matter.
All the same, thank you.

488
00:53:51.910 --> 00:53:53.488
Catch him!

489
00:53:57.916 --> 00:54:00.324
Professor, he stood up!

490
00:54:01.880 --> 00:54:05.130
Just notice how quickly he is gaining weight.
- 25 kilos.

491
00:54:05.425 --> 00:54:08.840
He is eating twice the amount he ate before.
- witch the phonograph on.

492
00:54:13.809 --> 00:54:15.601
That's phenomenal.

493
00:54:18.022 --> 00:54:21.770
- Perhaps, he is hungry?
- Bring something, please.

494
00:54:24.612 --> 00:54:27.529
Professor, we are witnessing
a miracle.

495
00:54:28.533 --> 00:54:31.487
Do you know what "abyrvalg" is?

496
00:54:33.330 --> 00:54:39.949
It's... GLAVRYBA, fishery, colleague,
spelled in reverse order.

497
00:54:41.171 --> 00:54:42.795
It's GLAVRYBA.

498
00:54:57.314 --> 00:54:59.721
Doctor, ammonium chloride.

499
00:55:01.693 --> 00:55:04.149
Professor, his tail fell off.

500
00:55:06.114 --> 00:55:09.567
Humanity is likely to remember
for a long time this inheritance...

501
00:55:09.911 --> 00:55:13.244
..left by the time of
military communism.

502
00:55:13.539 --> 00:55:18.285
Let these glands living a life of their
own be turned into special machines...

503
00:55:18.544 --> 00:55:22.672
...special factories for rejuvenating
and improving living humans!

504
00:55:28.972 --> 00:55:31.808
Me too, I read Brokgauz and Efron.
I read two volumes.

505
00:55:32.351 --> 00:55:34.557
You read and read, the words
are not difficult.

506
00:55:34.811 --> 00:55:38.228
Mechislav, Boguslav and I'll be damned
if I can remember who is who.

507
00:55:39.066 --> 00:55:41.438
Once you close the book,
nothing is left!

508
00:55:42.444 --> 00:55:46.490
I do remember one name - Mandrian.

509
00:55:46.700 --> 00:55:49.701
What sort of Mandrian?
There is no Mandrian in the book.

510
00:55:50.579 --> 00:55:55.325
There on the left page were two Bronetskis.
One was mister Adrian, the other Marian.

511
00:55:55.710 --> 00:55:58.035
And I have Mandrian.

512
00:56:00.381 --> 00:56:02.670
And I have Mandrian.

513
00:56:05.345 --> 00:56:09.638
No, no, no. There'll be
no reception today. I can't.

514
00:56:10.058 --> 00:56:14.886
God knows what, 82 phone calls.
Everybody's crazy!

515
00:56:15.439 --> 00:56:17.645
Ivan Arnoldovich, please.

516
00:56:22.487 --> 00:56:26.949
Excuse me, I am a newspaper reporter.
Thank you.

517
00:56:27.452 --> 00:56:30.903
Excuse me, Doctor...
- I am sorry, but there'll be no reception today.

518
00:56:31.206 --> 00:56:34.206
Professor...
- Professor will inform every one of the time of the appointment.

519
00:56:34.459 --> 00:56:38.160
I am sorry, it absolutely impossible to do
anything today, I am sorry, very sorry.

520
00:56:39.422 --> 00:56:42.673
Kerosene stove. American recognition.

521
00:56:43.427 --> 00:56:46.215
Moscow state Clothing stores.
Kerosene stove.

522
00:56:46.972 --> 00:56:49.379
Pub. A couple more.

523
00:56:49.851 --> 00:56:53.350
Pub. A couple more.

524
00:56:55.481 --> 00:56:58.518
Pub. A couple more.

525
00:56:59.819 --> 00:57:02.572
Pub. A couple more.

526
00:57:03.157 --> 00:57:07.699
Moscow state Clothing stores, Moscow state
Clothing stores. Pub. A couple more.

527
00:57:08.704 --> 00:57:11.112
Bourgeois, bourgeois.

528
00:57:12.291 --> 00:57:17.119
top pushing, bugger. Get off the bus.
You son of a bitch.

529
00:57:17.379 --> 00:57:18.578
top it.

530
00:57:18.756 --> 00:57:21.248
Kerosene stove. American recognition.

531
00:57:21.801 --> 00:57:25.005
Moscow state Clothing stores, Moscow state Clothing stores,
Moscow state Clothing stores.

532
00:57:25.347 --> 00:57:27.423
Kerosene stove. Pub.

533
00:57:27.766 --> 00:57:30.008
I must acknowledge my mistake.

534
00:57:30.436 --> 00:57:35.810
Transplantation of the pituitary induces
not rejuvenation but total humanisation.

535
00:57:36.109 --> 00:57:41.067
This does not, however, lessen the value
of you stupendous fantastic discovery.

536
00:57:41.406 --> 00:57:44.323
Moscow state Clothing stores.
You son of a bitch.

537
00:57:45.493 --> 00:57:47.153
Moscow state Clothing stores.

538
00:57:47.495 --> 00:57:51.447
Moscow state Clothing stores... Yes, yes,
Doctor, dear, Moscow state Clothing stores.

539
00:57:52.292 --> 00:57:53.668
Kerosene stove.

540
00:57:54.337 --> 00:57:58.334
Ivan Arnoldovich, please do go
and buy him a jacket and pants.

541
00:57:58.883 --> 00:58:01.254
An amazing phenomenon.

542
00:58:01.969 --> 00:58:08.554
\x22Recently a baby was born in Obukhov
Alley who plays the violin\x22

543
00:58:10.604 --> 00:58:15.599
\x22It was only thanks to the achievements of
contemporary medicine that it could be born. \x22

544
00:58:17.069 --> 00:58:23.024
\x22The photo shows Prof. P.P. Preobrazhensky,
who performed the Kaesarian section on the mother. \x22

545
00:58:23.284 --> 00:58:26.071
- Caesarean.
- Let it be Caesarean.

546
00:58:27.539 --> 00:58:31.453
- But it's doctor Bormenthal.
- Let me see.

547
00:58:36.465 --> 00:58:44.010
Take my word for it, on May the 4th 1925
the world will crash into a heavenly axis.

548
00:58:44.348 --> 00:58:47.467
- That's true, I tell you. That's true.
- My Goodness.

549
00:58:53.774 --> 00:58:55.435
Catch him.

550
00:59:00.491 --> 00:59:01.770
Damn you.

551
00:59:07.415 --> 00:59:09.407
- Put on the pants.
- Just a minute.

552
00:59:10.042 --> 00:59:12.664
Queue up, bastards, queue up!

553
00:59:13.420 --> 00:59:15.710
- Give him some herring.
- Queue up!

554
00:59:24.641 --> 00:59:28.140
Give a cigarette, you
have got striped pants.

555
00:59:30.564 --> 00:59:32.106
Don't spit on the floor.

556
00:59:33.317 --> 00:59:35.356
Get lost, louse.

557
00:59:36.821 --> 00:59:40.522
If ever again you let yourself
insult me or the Doctor...

558
00:59:41.785 --> 00:59:43.908
...you'll be punished.

559
00:59:50.085 --> 00:59:54.296
He understands, Philip
Philipovich, he understands.

560
00:59:57.426 --> 01:00:00.298
Every day his brain becomes
more and more awake.

561
01:00:00.596 --> 01:00:05.343
Professor, Sharik will develop into a
very intellectually advanced personality.

562
01:00:06.103 --> 01:00:08.260
You think so?

563
01:00:10.398 --> 01:00:13.436
Are you OK, Philipp Philippovich?

564
01:00:15.404 --> 01:00:19.567
We have created such mess
with this pituitary...

565
01:00:21.243 --> 01:00:23.532
...that the flat has become
uninhabitable.

566
01:00:23.788 --> 01:00:26.706
Ivan Arnoldovich, dear...

567
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:30.748
...please move in with me for the time
being, otherwise I can't handle him.

568
01:00:44.060 --> 01:00:45.767
Come on, comrades.

569
01:01:58.180 --> 01:02:01.135
Professor Preobrazhensky's
marvellous experiment...

570
01:02:01.434 --> 01:02:04.602
...has unveiled one of the mysteries
of the human brain.

571
01:02:05.272 --> 01:02:10.183
The mysterious function of the pituitary
has now been clarified!

572
01:02:17.701 --> 01:02:20.406
It determines human appearance.

573
01:02:20.872 --> 01:02:26.115
A new field has been opened up to science, without the aid
of any Faustian retorts a homunculus has been created.

574
01:02:27.504 --> 01:02:32.665
The surgeon's scalpel has brought
to life a new human being.

575
01:02:37.097 --> 01:02:39.671
Prof. Preobrazhensky -
you are a creator!

576
01:02:43.103 --> 01:02:49.522
Physically, he is a complete human
being, weight about 49 KG.

577
01:02:50.528 --> 01:02:52.521
Below medium height.

578
01:02:53.782 --> 01:02:56.569
Eats human food, has started smoking.

579
01:02:57.328 --> 01:03:00.244
Plays musical instruments.

580
01:03:05.461 --> 01:03:06.872
Here you are.

581
01:04:19.791 --> 01:04:21.997
Philipp Philippovich, that's enough,
isn't it.

582
01:04:23.879 --> 01:04:27.294
Eh, talk Moscow, speak Russia

583
01:04:28.133 --> 01:04:30.920
Oh, my tasty apple

584
01:04:31.345 --> 01:04:34.299
Here comes a girl with
the white skin.

585
01:04:34.597 --> 01:04:37.884
With the white skin
in a precious fur-coat

586
01:04:38.184 --> 01:04:41.435
Give us something and
you'll remain intact.

587
01:04:41.772 --> 01:04:44.809
Oh my tasty apple

588
01:04:45.110 --> 01:04:48.146
Come here, bourgeois,
I'll pluck your eye out.

589
01:04:48.488 --> 01:04:51.406
I'll pluck one eye out
but the other will remain

590
01:04:51.700 --> 01:04:55.318
For you, bastard, to see,
before whom to bow.

591
01:04:57.820 --> 01:05:01.024
- Philipp Philippovich, are you OK?
- Philipp Philippovich! Professor!

592
01:05:01.366 --> 01:05:03.074
What a misfortune.

593
01:05:03.868 --> 01:05:06.574
Pulse. Pulse, check the pulse.
Ammonium chloride.

594
01:05:06.871 --> 01:05:09.789
Open the windows, open the windows!

595
01:05:11.753 --> 01:05:14.160
Is he still dancing?

596
01:05:16.924 --> 01:05:18.466
He is.

597
01:08:36.464 --> 01:08:39.833
\x22There's no doubt that it is
his illegitimate...

598
01:08:40.177 --> 01:08:43.877
...(as they used to say in rotten
bourgeois society) son.

599
01:08:46.351 --> 01:08:50.432
That's how the pseudo-learned members
of our bourgeoisie prefer to have fun.

600
01:08:50.731 --> 01:08:56.938
Everyone can well occupy seven rooms
until the glittering sword of justice...

601
01:08:58.532 --> 01:09:02.947
...flashes over him like a red ray.
Shvonder.

602
01:09:08.462 --> 01:09:10.918
Damn it all.

603
01:09:13.176 --> 01:09:17.803
The moo-oon is shining...
shining bright...

604
01:09:18.641 --> 01:09:22.592
The moon is shining...
I can't get rid of the damned tune!

605
01:09:24.774 --> 01:09:28.939
Zina, tell him it's five o'clock.

606
01:09:29.613 --> 01:09:31.939
Tell him to shut up. Yes.

607
01:09:32.993 --> 01:09:35.068
And ask him to come here, please.

608
01:09:51.640 --> 01:09:57.478
I believe I have already requested you twice not to sleep on
the high bunk in the kitchen - particularly in the daytime.

609
01:09:59.817 --> 01:10:02.273
The air is more agreeable
in the kitchen.

610
01:10:03.030 --> 01:10:06.565
What on earth is that repulsive
object? I mean your tie.

611
01:10:07.953 --> 01:10:11.322
What's repulsive about it?
It's a smart tie.

612
01:10:12.291 --> 01:10:14.331
Darya Petrovna gave it to me.

613
01:10:14.585 --> 01:10:18.205
In that case, Darya Petrovna has given you
an abomination, like those shoes of yours.

614
01:10:18.507 --> 01:10:20.713
What sort of glittering
trash are they?

615
01:10:22.386 --> 01:10:24.463
Am I worse than other people?

616
01:10:25.140 --> 01:10:29.304
Just take a walk down the Kuznetzky Most and
you'll see everybody wearing patent-leather shoes.

617
01:10:30.021 --> 01:10:35.894
Sleeping in the kitchen must stop.
Understand? There are women there.

618
01:10:38.282 --> 01:10:42.744
Huh - women. Fine ladies.

619
01:10:43.829 --> 01:10:47.329
They're ordinary servants, but you'd
think they were... commissars.

620
01:10:49.587 --> 01:10:52.292
It's all that slut Zina - she's
always griping about me.

621
01:10:52.673 --> 01:10:56.008
Don't you dare to call Zina
a slut! Understand?

622
01:10:56.470 --> 01:10:58.630
Understand?

623
01:11:00.975 --> 01:11:02.637
Yeah, I understand.

624
01:11:03.228 --> 01:11:08.936
Now then. Don't throw cigarette butts on the floor,
don't spit, don't make a mess in the lavatory.

625
01:11:09.278 --> 01:11:11.734
Do not ever talk to Zina any more.

626
01:11:12.031 --> 01:11:15.115
he complains that you wait
for her in dark corners.

627
01:11:16.246 --> 01:11:18.321
And who told the patient:

628
01:11:19.124 --> 01:11:21.200
...'Devil alone knows'?

629
01:11:21.710 --> 01:11:24.664
Where d'you think you are,
in some low dive?

630
01:11:25.172 --> 01:11:27.710
You sure being too hard on me, Dad.

631
01:11:28.468 --> 01:11:31.635
What?! Don't you dare call me Dad!

632
01:11:32.097 --> 01:11:36.310
What impertinent familiarity? You will
address me by my name and patronymic!

633
01:11:36.770 --> 01:11:43.024
Aw, why can't you lay off? Don't spit...
Don't smoke... Don't go there...

634
01:11:43.278 --> 01:11:46.862
It's just like the rules in a tram.
Why don't you let me live?

635
01:11:47.741 --> 01:11:51.076
And about my calling you Dad.
You are wrong here.

636
01:11:52.081 --> 01:11:55.248
I didn't ask you to perform
the operation, did I?

637
01:11:56.001 --> 01:12:01.543
A fine business - you go and grab hold
of an animal, slice his head open,

638
01:12:01.842 --> 01:12:04.085
...and now you're sick of him!

639
01:12:05.222 --> 01:12:08.674
I didn't give permission
to operate on me, did I.

640
01:12:09.268 --> 01:12:11.428
Neither did my relatives.

641
01:12:14.025 --> 01:12:16.979
I guess I have the right to sue you.

642
01:12:19.447 --> 01:12:23.613
o you object to having been turned
into a human being, do you.

643
01:12:23.911 --> 01:12:29.786
Maybe you'd prefer to be sniffing around garbage cans again?
Or freezing under gateways?

644
01:12:30.085 --> 01:12:35.330
Why do you keep on at me? Garbage cans, garbage cans!
Perhaps I was making my living there.

645
01:12:36.802 --> 01:12:42.094
And what if I'd died under your knife?
What d'you say to that, comrade?

646
01:12:42.560 --> 01:12:44.968
My name is Philipp Philippovich.
I'm no comrade of yours!

647
01:12:45.355 --> 01:12:49.519
Oh sure, I know. Of course,
how else, we're not your comrades!

648
01:12:49.860 --> 01:12:52.103
How could we. We understand, sir!

649
01:12:52.947 --> 01:12:55.071
We didn't go to universities.

650
01:12:55.618 --> 01:12:59.236
We never had a flat of fifteen
rooms and a bathroom.

651
01:13:00.124 --> 01:13:02.875
Only now it is time to forget
about all that.

652
01:13:04.837 --> 01:13:08.538
At present everybody
has his own rights.

653
01:13:10.970 --> 01:13:15.928
Use your fingers to catch fleas! Use your fingers!
I can't understand, where you get them from?

654
01:13:16.644 --> 01:13:19.598
You don't think I breed
them on purpose, do you?

655
01:13:24.445 --> 01:13:27.150
I guess fleas just like me.

656
01:13:28.032 --> 01:13:35.614
There is no time to weep

657
01:13:36.334 --> 01:13:44.879
When we leave the stirrup and
take up the steel of labour.

658
01:13:45.597 --> 01:13:53.854
There is one answer to every question

659
01:13:55.149 --> 01:14:04.618
And there is no other.

660
01:14:06.413 --> 01:14:09.368
I need some papers,
Philipp Philippovich.

661
01:14:10.584 --> 01:14:14.499
Papers? Damn.

662
01:14:17.093 --> 01:14:20.427
- May be... H'm... Perhaps we might...
- Sorry, no.

663
01:14:21.099 --> 01:14:27.553
You know yourself, that a man without
a document is strictly forbidden to exist.

664
01:14:28.608 --> 01:14:31.063
To begin with, there's
the House Committee...

665
01:14:31.402 --> 01:14:34.607
What has the House Committee got to do with it?
- What do you mean? Everything.

666
01:14:34.948 --> 01:14:41.569
Every time I meet one of them they ask me
when I'm going to get registered.

667
01:14:41.873 --> 01:14:46.583
I can just imagine what you tell them.
I thought I told you not to loaf around the stairs!

668
01:14:46.838 --> 01:14:49.412
That sounds rather insulting.

669
01:14:51.469 --> 01:14:53.426
Very insulting.

670
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:58.258
What am I - a convict?
What do you mean - loaf!

671
01:14:58.519 --> 01:15:01.722
What does your precious
House Committee say, then?

672
01:15:01.982 --> 01:15:06.560
There's no call to brand it 'precious'.
It protects people's interests.

673
01:15:06.988 --> 01:15:09.526
Whose interests, may I ask?

674
01:15:09.825 --> 01:15:13.574
Everyone knows. The working
class element's.

675
01:15:13.913 --> 01:15:16.203
Are you a worker then?

676
01:15:16.667 --> 01:15:19.205
That's obvious, I am not a capitalist.

677
01:15:19.629 --> 01:15:25.667
o how does the House Committee propose
to defend your revolutionary rights?

678
01:15:26.011 --> 01:15:29.713
Easy. You ought to register me.

679
01:15:31.978 --> 01:15:36.142
They say it is unheard of...

680
01:15:36.899 --> 01:15:41.064
...that a man should live in Moscow
without registration.

681
01:15:41.405 --> 01:15:45.486
That is for starters. But the most
important thing is to have a record card.

682
01:15:46.202 --> 01:15:49.074
I don't want to be taken
for a deserter.

683
01:15:49.957 --> 01:15:52.710
And then again there's the Union,
the Labour Exchange...

684
01:15:52.961 --> 01:15:56.212
And how, pray, am I supposed
to register you?

685
01:15:56.675 --> 01:15:58.833
You have got neither
name nor surname.

686
01:16:02.473 --> 01:16:04.550
That is not fair.

687
01:16:05.101 --> 01:16:08.222
I can very easily chose
a name for myself.

688
01:16:08.731 --> 01:16:13.560
I announce it in the newspapers and there you are.
- What do you wish to be called?

689
01:16:18.201 --> 01:16:19.742
Poligraph Poligraphovich.

690
01:16:19.995 --> 01:16:22.569
top playing the fool, I am serious.

691
01:16:22.874 --> 01:16:27.702
I don't get it. I mustn't swear.
I mustn't spit.

692
01:16:28.422 --> 01:16:31.458
Yet all I ever hear from you
is 'Fool, fool'.

693
01:16:32.301 --> 01:16:36.467
I guess that in the RFR swearing
must be for professors only.

694
01:16:36.765 --> 01:16:41.429
I beg your pardon. Your name struck me as a little odd.
Where, as a matter of interest, did you dig it up?

695
01:16:42.272 --> 01:16:46.057
The House Committee helped me.
We looked it up in the calendar.

696
01:16:46.653 --> 01:16:49.323
They said: 'What do you fancy',
so I chose that one.

697
01:16:49.656 --> 01:16:52.362
Zina, bring me the calendar
from the consulting room.

698
01:16:52.911 --> 01:16:55.746
There could not possibly be anything
of the sort in any calendar.

699
01:16:56.081 --> 01:16:59.284
Now you do surprise me, considering it
is hanging in your consulting room.

700
01:17:01.630 --> 01:17:03.837
- Here you are.
- Where is it?

701
01:17:04.174 --> 01:17:07.590
Just here. His day is celebrated
on March the fourth.

702
01:17:08.012 --> 01:17:11.263
Yes, there it is... Into the stove
with it. This moment.

703
01:17:14.687 --> 01:17:16.846
And may I ask what surname
you will take?

704
01:17:17.149 --> 01:17:22.274
Surname? I don't object to my
hereditary surname.

705
01:17:23.781 --> 01:17:25.775
Meaning?

706
01:17:26.827 --> 01:17:28.701
Sharikov.

707
01:17:54.403 --> 01:17:59.031
...As comrade Trotsky writes
in his numerous works...

708
01:18:04.666 --> 01:18:07.371
the building of socialist society...

709
01:18:07.586 --> 01:18:11.253
...is quite ensured internationally.

710
01:18:11.675 --> 01:18:16.503
In the capitalist world class
and economic contradictions...

711
01:18:16.805 --> 01:18:20.886
...shall steadily increase.
Remember it once and for all.

712
01:18:22.939 --> 01:18:26.937
Class struggle between the proletariat
and the bourgeoisie...

713
01:18:35.245 --> 01:18:37.072
What should I write?

714
01:18:37.372 --> 01:18:40.043
Nothing difficult.

715
01:18:40.376 --> 01:18:46.630
Write a certificate, citizen Professor.
You know the sort of thing...

716
01:18:47.134 --> 01:18:52.641
...This is to certify that the bearer is
really Poligraph Poligraphovich Sharikov.

717
01:18:53.100 --> 01:18:56.268
Who was born in this flat.

718
01:18:56.522 --> 01:18:59.356
Goddammit, I've never heard
anything so idiotic in my life.

719
01:19:00.193 --> 01:19:05.616
He wasn't born at all, he simply...
well, he sort of...

720
01:19:05.867 --> 01:19:10.031
That's your problem. It's up to you
to decide whether he was born or not.

721
01:19:10.289 --> 01:19:15.082
All in all you were conducting
an experiment, Professor.

722
01:19:16.547 --> 01:19:21.007
And you are the creator of citizen Sharikov.
- As simple as that.

723
01:19:21.261 --> 01:19:24.464
Kindly keep out of the conversation.

724
01:19:24.806 --> 01:19:27.926
You have no grounds for saying
It was simple... It's very far from simple.

725
01:19:28.686 --> 01:19:30.312
Why should I keep out
of the conversation.

726
01:19:30.479 --> 01:19:34.728
I'm sorry, Professor, but Citizen
Sharikov is absolutely right.

727
01:19:35.944 --> 01:19:41.237
- He has the right to take part in the discussion of his own future.
- Well, all right.

728
01:19:44.164 --> 01:19:47.747
The bearer is a human being created in
the course of a laboratory experiment...

729
01:19:49.295 --> 01:19:53.839
by means of an operation on the brain.
He requires identity papers.

730
01:19:54.176 --> 01:19:59.005
Dammit! I object in principle
to obtaining these idiotic documents.

731
01:20:02.143 --> 01:20:04.766
Signed: 'Professor Preobrazhensky.

732
01:20:05.732 --> 01:20:11.072
Rather curious, Professor, that you
should call documents idiotic?

733
01:20:11.406 --> 01:20:15.487
I can't allow an undocumented tenant
to go on living in this house.

734
01:20:15.827 --> 01:20:20.741
...especially the one who hasn't been registered
with the militia for military service.

735
01:20:21.543 --> 01:20:26.289
- Supposing war suddenly breaks out with imperialist predators?
- I'm not going to war.

736
01:20:28.343 --> 01:20:32.175
You are completely lacking in Political
consciousness, Citizen Sharikov.

737
01:20:32.973 --> 01:20:37.719
- You must register for military service.
- I'll register all right, but I'll be damned if I'm going to fight.

738
01:20:38.022 --> 01:20:42.186
I was severely wounded during the
operation. Look - they cut me right open.

739
01:20:42.528 --> 01:20:45.196
Are you an anarchist-individualist?

740
01:20:46.072 --> 01:20:50.736
- I ought to be exempt on medical grounds.
- Well, that's not the point.

741
01:20:51.413 --> 01:20:54.700
Meanwhile, we'll send the Professor's
certificate to the militia...

742
01:20:56.169 --> 01:20:59.041
...and you will get your document.

743
01:20:59.548 --> 01:21:05.089
Do you happen to have a spare room in
the house? I'd be prepared to pay for it.

744
01:21:06.139 --> 01:21:08.547
No, Professor, I deeply
regret we don't.

745
01:21:10.979 --> 01:21:13.103
And aren't likely to have any.

746
01:21:16.987 --> 01:21:23.786
I swear, Doctor, that I'm more exhausted following
the past fortnight than from the past fourteen years!

747
01:21:24.120 --> 01:21:25.994
- top, thief!
- Let it go.

748
01:21:26.415 --> 01:21:28.158
A cat! I'll strangle the bastard! op!

749
01:21:28.374 --> 01:21:30.784
How many times have I ordered there
should be no cats. Where is it now?

750
01:21:30.962 --> 01:21:33.335
There he is, in the bathroom,
the devil.

751
01:21:33.591 --> 01:21:37.341
Ivan Arnoldovich, please reassure
the patients. Open up this instant!

752
01:21:38.138 --> 01:21:40.808
- I'll get you!
- There it is. The cat's here.

753
01:21:50.026 --> 01:21:54.074
Come out at once! Why have
you locked yourself in?

754
01:21:55.158 --> 01:21:57.650
What on earth... I can't hear
a thing - turn the water off.

755
01:21:58.788 --> 01:22:02.573
- Turn the water off!
- Turn the water off, you idiot!

756
01:22:02.876 --> 01:22:05.664
- What's he done? I don't understand.
- There he is.

757
01:22:09.093 --> 01:22:11.549
Have you gone out of your mind?
Why don't you come out of there?

758
01:22:12.889 --> 01:22:16.055
- I've locked myself in.
- Unlock the door then.

759
01:22:16.477 --> 01:22:20.891
- Haven't you ever seen a lock before?
- The goddamned thing won't open!

760
01:22:21.358 --> 01:22:23.814
- There's a small button on the lock.
- A small button.

761
01:22:24.069 --> 01:22:25.861
- Press it downward.
- Down.

762
01:22:26.072 --> 01:22:27.780
Press it down! Down.

763
01:22:29.160 --> 01:22:30.783
I can't see my paw before my face!

764
01:22:30.993 --> 01:22:33.700
Well turn the light on, then! He's gone crazy!
- A dog.

765
01:22:33.915 --> 01:22:36.488
That goddamned cat smashed the bulb...

766
01:22:36.793 --> 01:22:41.503
...and when I tried to catch the bastard by the legs,
I wrenched out the tap, and now I can't find it!

767
01:22:42.550 --> 01:22:45.836
Oh Lord Jesus Christ
have mercy on us.

768
01:22:46.263 --> 01:22:47.806
What do you want?

769
01:22:48.140 --> 01:22:53.184
I've come from Pskov, a pilgrim.
I've come to see the talking dog.

770
01:22:53.438 --> 01:22:55.681
- Out, out of the kitchen.
- he's from Pskov...

771
01:22:56.026 --> 01:22:57.484
Get out.

772
01:22:59.488 --> 01:23:02.109
Darya Petrovna, I've
asked you before...

773
01:23:02.533 --> 01:23:06.402
But Philipp Philippovich, People
keep coming in all day long!

774
01:23:14.714 --> 01:23:17.585
- Quick, Fyodor!
- Just a moment, I'll get the lamp.

775
01:23:17.844 --> 01:23:20.964
- Fyodor, quick!
- Coming, coming.

776
01:23:27.815 --> 01:23:29.689
Fyodor, what is it?

777
01:23:30.359 --> 01:23:33.479
Philipp Philippovich, we'll have
to open the door.

778
01:23:34.364 --> 01:23:37.485
We must let the water run out.
We can mop it up from the kitchen.

779
01:23:37.869 --> 01:23:39.412
Open it, then!

780
01:23:47.798 --> 01:23:49.459
Dear God.

781
01:23:51.637 --> 01:23:55.387
- I only just managed to get the tap back in. The pressure is so strong.
- Where is he?

782
01:23:57.059 --> 01:23:59.302
Over there. He's afraid to come out.

783
01:24:03.024 --> 01:24:04.851
Will you beat me, Dad?

784
01:24:06.028 --> 01:24:07.524
Idiot.

785
01:24:19.086 --> 01:24:23.002
What d'you think you're doing, you fool,
spreading it all over the flat! Pour it into the bowl.

786
01:24:23.217 --> 01:24:25.589
The bowl is no use, the water's
running out the front door.

787
01:24:26.096 --> 01:24:28.634
Oh what a fool.

788
01:24:29.349 --> 01:24:33.348
There will be no reception today. There'
an emergency, we have a burst pipe...

789
01:24:33.646 --> 01:24:37.016
No, no, it can't be done today.
No way.

790
01:24:37.359 --> 01:24:40.943
Zina, Zina, mop up here! The water will start running
down the front stairs any minute now. Hurry up.

791
01:24:41.196 --> 01:24:43.273
- I'll do it.
- I'll scoop it up with jugs.

792
01:24:43.490 --> 01:24:46.659
Yes, all right... Nothing can be done
today. No, tomorrow, some other day.

793
01:24:46.913 --> 01:24:50.579
Ivan Arnoldovich come into the bedroom.
I'll give you a pair of my shoes.

794
01:24:50.875 --> 01:24:54.127
Don't bother, Philipp Philippovich,
I'm all right.

795
01:24:55.924 --> 01:24:57.122
Oh God.

796
01:24:58.135 --> 01:25:01.670
Then put on the galoshes.
- It doesn't matter. My feet are wet anyway...

797
01:25:02.014 --> 01:25:03.723
Oh dear me.

798
01:25:05.143 --> 01:25:09.853
What a nasty animal!
- Whom are you talking about, may I inquire?

799
01:25:10.650 --> 01:25:13.522
I am talking about the cat.
Filthy swine.

800
01:25:14.237 --> 01:25:16.991
I swear I have never seen a more
brazen creature than you.

801
01:25:17.659 --> 01:25:21.326
How much longer are you going
to chase cats? You're a barbarian.

802
01:25:21.831 --> 01:25:26.624
I am no barbarian? Not in the least.
I won't stand that brute in this flat!

803
01:25:27.046 --> 01:25:29.667
It stole Darya's mincemeat.
I wanted to teach it a lesson.

804
01:25:30.049 --> 01:25:35.175
It's you who needs a lesson! Just take
a look at your face in the mirror.

805
01:25:43.274 --> 01:25:46.025
Nearly scratched my eyes out.

806
01:25:48.072 --> 01:25:49.731
The slut.

807
01:25:50.199 --> 01:25:55.989
Philipp Philippovich. I'm sorry, I wouldn't like to
mention it but the windowpane in Number even...

808
01:25:56.957 --> 01:26:00.578
Citizen Sharikov threw stones at it.

809
01:26:00.921 --> 01:26:03.757
You mean at a cat?
- Not quite, he was throwing them at the owner of the flat.

810
01:26:04.550 --> 01:26:08.844
Sharikov was cuddling their cook,
and they chased him out...

811
01:26:09.263 --> 01:26:11.221
...They had a fight.

812
01:26:11.518 --> 01:26:14.090
- How much?
- One and a half.

813
01:26:16.231 --> 01:26:20.182
Fancy paying one and a half roubles
for such a filthy swine. He himself...

814
01:26:20.820 --> 01:26:22.362
Don't you dare!

815
01:26:22.947 --> 01:26:24.987
Please, Philipp Philippovich,
don't upset yourself.

816
01:26:27.494 --> 01:26:32.205
Where d'you think you are?
In a pub? top that at once!

817
01:26:32.501 --> 01:26:37.165
That's it, serves him right.
A clip over the ear's what he needs!

818
01:26:37.465 --> 01:26:42.593
- No, not that, Fyodor.
- I am sorry for you, Philipp Philippovich.

819
01:26:43.432 --> 01:26:46.552
The spirit of the emperor,
do tell us...

820
01:26:47.270 --> 01:26:51.434
...will the Bolsheviks remain
in power for a long time?

821
01:26:57.615 --> 01:27:00.285
Quiet, gentlemen, that's interesting.

822
01:27:14.971 --> 01:27:17.677
No, no, no! You must tuck
in your napkin.

823
01:27:17.974 --> 01:27:19.683
Why the hell should I.

824
01:27:20.768 --> 01:27:23.473
I shan't allow you to eat
until you tuck on your napkin.

825
01:27:23.813 --> 01:27:27.349
- Zina, take the plate away from Sharikov.
- Hey, how do you mean take away?

826
01:27:34.578 --> 01:27:36.820
And use a fork please.

827
01:27:37.331 --> 01:27:42.290
Thank you, Doctor. I sick and
tired of reprimanding him.

828
01:27:47.342 --> 01:27:50.511
- I'll have some vodka.
- Don't you think you've had enough?

829
01:27:50.763 --> 01:27:54.845
- Do you grudge it?
- You, Sharikov, are talking nonsense.

830
01:27:55.853 --> 01:27:59.639
The most revolting thing is that you talk
with such confidence and assuredness.

831
01:28:00.525 --> 01:28:04.572
I don't grudge you the vodka of course, all the more so
since it's not mine but belongs to Philipp Philippovich.

832
01:28:05.198 --> 01:28:10.028
It's simply that it's bad for you. That's number one. And
number two: you can't behave yourself even without vodka.

833
01:28:11.831 --> 01:28:13.659
It isn't done that way.

834
01:28:14.043 --> 01:28:17.330
You should first offer it to Philipp Philippovich,
then to me, then pour yourself a glass.

835
01:28:18.464 --> 01:28:21.467
You always act just as
if you were on parade here.

836
01:28:22.762 --> 01:28:30.854
Put your napkin here, place your tie
there and "excuse me" and "please-merci".

837
01:28:31.482 --> 01:28:36.524
Why can't you behave naturally?

838
01:28:36.988 --> 01:28:40.738
You torment yourselves as though
you were still under the tsar.

839
01:28:41.202 --> 01:28:44.489
What do you mean
by \x22natural\x22 may I ask?

840
01:28:50.838 --> 01:28:53.411
I wish you all...

841
01:28:54.677 --> 01:28:57.798
- The same to you.
- An old habit!

842
01:29:00.309 --> 01:29:04.354
There's nothing we can do
about it - Klim Chugunkin.

843
01:29:04.647 --> 01:29:10.319
- Do you think so, Philipp Philippovich?
- No need to think, it is clear as it is.

844
01:29:10.655 --> 01:29:13.228
I'll have some more vodka.

845
01:29:14.242 --> 01:29:18.241
Well now, what are you and
I going to do this evening?

846
01:29:20.126 --> 01:29:22.830
Let's go to the circus.
I like it best of all.

847
01:29:23.170 --> 01:29:26.007
If I were you I'd go
to the theatre at least once.

848
01:29:28.176 --> 01:29:30.335
I won't go to the theatre.

849
01:29:34.100 --> 01:29:37.802
Belching at table spoils
other people's appetites.

850
01:29:38.146 --> 01:29:41.018
Incidentally, why don't
you like the theatre?

851
01:29:45.698 --> 01:29:49.779
Hell, it's just crap... talk, talk.

852
01:29:50.830 --> 01:29:53.036
Pure counterrevolution.

853
01:29:55.126 --> 01:29:59.504
You should do some reading, otherwise you know...
- Sure, I am reading already...

854
01:30:00.549 --> 01:30:03.042
Zina, take the vodka away, baby.

855
01:30:04.638 --> 01:30:07.841
What have you been reading?
Robinson Crusoe?

856
01:30:09.185 --> 01:30:13.765
That what do you call it... correspondence
between Engels and... hell,

857
01:30:14.817 --> 01:30:17.523
...What's the blighter's name?.
Oh - Kautsky.

858
01:30:24.454 --> 01:30:28.998
I'd be interested to know what comment
you can make on what you've read?

859
01:30:32.046 --> 01:30:36.295
- I don't agree.
- With whom - Engels or Kautsky?

860
01:30:40.599 --> 01:30:45.061
- With either of 'em.
- That is most remarkable, by God.

861
01:30:46.231 --> 01:30:51.986
Well, what would you suggest
for your part?

862
01:30:52.196 --> 01:30:55.199
Why suggest? They just keep writing...

863
01:30:55.617 --> 01:31:00.744
Some congress and some Germans... Makes my head reel!
Take everything and divide it equally.

864
01:31:01.875 --> 01:31:06.204
Just as I thought,
just what I expected.

865
01:31:06.756 --> 01:31:11.384
- Do you know how it is to be done?
- How to do it? That's plain enough.

866
01:31:12.221 --> 01:31:18.972
What do you think? Here's one guy who spreads himself
out in seven rooms and has forty pairs of pants,

867
01:31:19.438 --> 01:31:23.984
...and there's another who hangs around
garbage cans looking for something to eat.

868
01:31:24.236 --> 01:31:27.024
I suppose that remark about
the seven rooms is a hint at me?

869
01:31:27.323 --> 01:31:33.078
All right, I've nothing against a fair division.
How many patients did you turn away yesterday, Doctor?

870
01:31:33.331 --> 01:31:37.827
- Thirty-nine.
- H'm... three hundred and ninety roubles.

871
01:31:38.462 --> 01:31:41.665
Your share is a hundred and thirty
roubles. Kindly hand it over.

872
01:31:42.007 --> 01:31:44.298
Hey, wait a minute! What's that for?

873
01:31:44.637 --> 01:31:47.473
- I mean for the cat and the tap!
- Philipp Philippovich.

874
01:31:47.723 --> 01:31:52.102
For the intolerable chaos you created yesterday
and because of which I had to cancel my reception!

875
01:31:52.813 --> 01:31:56.763
A man goes leaping about the house
like a savage ripping off taps!

876
01:31:57.109 --> 01:32:00.195
Who killed Madame Polasukher's cat?
Who?

877
01:32:00.448 --> 01:32:02.654
The day before yesterday you, Sharikov,
bit a lady on the stairs.

878
01:32:02.868 --> 01:32:05.193
But she slapped me across the muzzle!
My muzzle isn't public property!

879
01:32:05.412 --> 01:32:07.654
Because you had pinched her bosom!
You stand...

880
01:32:07.832 --> 01:32:13.456
You stand on the lowest rung of evolution.
You are still in the formative stage...

881
01:32:13.715 --> 01:32:19.553
...You are intellectually weak as yet.
All your actions are purely animal.

882
01:32:19.847 --> 01:32:23.761
Yet you allow yourself in the presence
of two university-educated men...

883
01:32:24.060 --> 01:32:27.311
...to offer advice on a cosmic scale...

884
01:32:27.523 --> 01:32:31.901
...and of equally cosmic stupidity, about
how everything should be divided up!

885
01:32:33.195 --> 01:32:38.323
- And at the same time you eat toothpaste.
- That was the day before yesterday.

886
01:32:39.663 --> 01:32:43.826
And mind you, you've got
to keep quiet and listen...

887
01:32:44.293 --> 01:32:48.375
...keep quiet and listen, to what you are told!
You've got to learn and try to become...

888
01:32:48.715 --> 01:32:52.880
...at least a marginally
acceptable member of society.

889
01:33:01.231 --> 01:33:04.399
By the way, who was the scoundrel
who lent you that book?

890
01:33:04.652 --> 01:33:08.734
Everybody is a scoundrel to you. Well, Shvonder gave
it to me. o what? It was so I could get educated.

891
01:33:08.949 --> 01:33:12.698
I can see which way your education
is going after reading Kautsky. Zina!

892
01:33:13.121 --> 01:33:14.864
- Zina!
- Zina!

893
01:33:15.915 --> 01:33:18.372
There in the reception room...
Is it in the reception room?

894
01:33:18.669 --> 01:33:21.541
- It is. Green, the colour of vitriol.
- Yes. There is a green book.

895
01:33:22.174 --> 01:33:25.378
Now he is going to burn it. It is public
property, it's from the library!

896
01:33:25.844 --> 01:33:31.385
It's called Correspondence between, er, Engels and that
other devil what's his name... Throw it into the stove!

897
01:33:33.772 --> 01:33:38.433
Upon my word, I'd hang that
Shvonder from the first tree.

898
01:33:39.236 --> 01:33:44.777
This poisonous fellow sits
in this house like a boil.

899
01:33:45.078 --> 01:33:48.944
To say nothing of his idiotic
ravings in the newspapers...

900
01:33:50.333 --> 01:33:53.454
Oh Doctor, for Goodness sake,
go to the circus with him tonight.

901
01:33:53.879 --> 01:33:57.001
Only do check the program and
make sure there are no cats.

902
01:33:57.925 --> 01:34:01.047
I don't know how they let such
filthy beasts into the circus at all.

903
01:34:01.388 --> 01:34:04.260
Well, never mind what filthy beasts they
let into the circus. What's on tonight?

904
01:34:04.726 --> 01:34:07.432
Elephants and the Ultimate
in Human Dexterity.

905
01:34:07.772 --> 01:34:10.477
What do you say to the elephants,
my dear Sharikov?

906
01:34:10.775 --> 01:34:13.811
I am not a fool.
Cats are a special case.

907
01:34:15.281 --> 01:34:19.778
Elephants are useful animals.

908
01:34:20.078 --> 01:34:23.495
Excellent. Go and watch them.

909
01:34:24.167 --> 01:34:28.332
I beg you, Ivan Arnoldovich, not
to offer Sharikov beer to drink.

910
01:34:45.402 --> 01:34:47.940
Gentlemen!

911
01:34:48.612 --> 01:34:54.202
I have the honour of introducing
to you a famous fortune-teller...

912
01:34:55.038 --> 01:35:01.707
...mademoiselle Jeanna
from Paris and icily!

913
01:35:16.981 --> 01:35:24.362
Mademoiselle can tell you
about your past, present and...

914
01:35:26.244 --> 01:35:28.237
...future!

915
01:35:28.997 --> 01:35:33.161
As well as your family secrets.

916
01:35:38.007 --> 01:35:40.844
Make an enigmatic face, you idiot.

917
01:35:42.722 --> 01:35:48.014
Mademoiselle Jeanna!

918
01:35:55.070 --> 01:36:01.360
You shouldn't think, though,
that it all has something to do with witchcraft or miracle.

919
01:36:01.662 --> 01:36:06.206
Nothing of the kind! There are
no miracles as we all know.

920
01:36:06.877 --> 01:36:13.462
And Professor Preobrazhensky
has once again proved it.

921
01:36:27.234 --> 01:36:32.147
Everything is determined
by the forces of nature...

922
01:36:33.369 --> 01:36:39.656
...and the permission of the local
committee and the educational committee.

923
01:36:40.293 --> 01:36:46.796
This is vitalopatia!

924
01:36:47.593 --> 01:36:52.637
It is based on the teachings
of Indian yogis...

925
01:36:53.059 --> 01:36:57.473
...repressed by British colonialism.

926
01:37:00.818 --> 01:37:03.274
I welcome you questions, comrades.

927
01:37:03.614 --> 01:37:06.735
What is the main event of my life?

928
01:37:07.577 --> 01:37:08.822
Ahead.

929
01:37:09.161 --> 01:37:13.492
The main event in your life
is still ahead of you.

930
01:37:22.929 --> 01:37:25.052
By God I'll do it.

931
01:37:27.643 --> 01:37:29.101
Damn.

932
01:37:36.613 --> 01:37:44.111
The difficult years of fighting

933
01:37:45.833 --> 01:37:54.007
for the liberty of this
country are gone.

934
01:37:55.178 --> 01:38:03.767
The ones that follow them

935
01:38:05.731 --> 01:38:13.148
are also difficult.

936
01:38:22.962 --> 01:38:24.337
Bastard.

937
01:38:45.907 --> 01:38:47.316
Bormenthal!

938
01:38:49.619 --> 01:38:51.363
Bormenthal!

939
01:38:53.875 --> 01:38:56.829
Kindly address me by
my name and patronymic.

940
01:38:58.797 --> 01:39:01.503
Then call me by my name
and patronymic, too.

941
01:39:01.760 --> 01:39:05.924
No, I won't have you addressed
by such a name in my flat.

942
01:39:06.348 --> 01:39:10.643
If you like, Doctor Bormenthal
and I will call you Monsieur Sharikov.

943
01:39:10.979 --> 01:39:14.515
I'm not a 'monsieur'- all the
'monsieurs' are in Paris.

944
01:39:16.653 --> 01:39:18.812
I see Shvonder's been at work on you.

945
01:39:19.281 --> 01:39:22.865
All right, I'll place an advertisement
in the papers today...

946
01:39:23.370 --> 01:39:25.860
...and, believe me,
I'll find you a room.

947
01:39:26.080 --> 01:39:30.625
I am no fool to move away from here.

948
01:39:32.005 --> 01:39:35.339
What?!
- Don't be so impertinent, Monsieur Sharikov!

949
01:39:36.010 --> 01:39:41.597
There. I'm now a member of this residential
associate don and the tenant in charge of flat...

950
01:39:41.933 --> 01:39:46.264
...Number Two, Preobrazhensky, has got to give me
thirty-seven square feet of space. Be so kind.

951
01:39:49.986 --> 01:39:53.521
I'll shoot that Shvonder
one of these days.

952
01:39:59.497 --> 01:40:03.746
- Philipp Philippovich...
- To hell with caution.

953
01:40:05.087 --> 01:40:10.962
Mind you, If you commit
one more piece of impudence...

954
01:40:11.221 --> 01:40:14.257
...I shall deprive you of your dinner -
in fact, of all food in this house.

955
01:40:14.641 --> 01:40:18.854
Thirty-seven square feet may be all very well,
but there's nothing on that stinking little bit of paper...

956
01:40:19.898 --> 01:40:22.603
...which says that I have to feed you!

957
01:40:22.902 --> 01:40:28.489
I can't do without food.
Where would I eat?

958
01:40:28.783 --> 01:40:31.454
Then behave yourself!

959
01:41:10.919 --> 01:41:13.755
Eh, talk Moscow, speak Russia!

960
01:41:15.215 --> 01:41:17.007
Come on, boys, come on!

961
01:41:39.413 --> 01:41:41.072
What's wrong?

962
01:41:49.509 --> 01:41:52.676
Ah, fuck you, Professor!

963
01:41:53.013 --> 01:41:56.299
Come on, have a drink with us.

964
01:41:57.352 --> 01:41:58.810
Who are they?

965
01:41:59.186 --> 01:42:00.681
They?

966
01:42:01.731 --> 01:42:05.895
They are good guys. They'll stay
for the night with me.

967
01:42:06.278 --> 01:42:09.566
Ivan Arnoldovich, call the 45th
police department. Be so kind.

968
01:42:10.534 --> 01:42:11.993
Get out.

969
01:42:12.245 --> 01:42:16.742
Bormenthal himself should be turned
in to the 45th department.

970
01:42:17.709 --> 01:42:20.380
He lives here without registration.

971
01:42:28.014 --> 01:42:30.054
Who stole 20 roubles?

972
01:42:35.147 --> 01:42:36.690
I didn't take them.

973
01:42:36.901 --> 01:42:39.023
Who then? Who else, if not you?

974
01:42:39.321 --> 01:42:41.608
I'm not alone in the apartment.

975
01:42:42.657 --> 01:42:44.734
Maybe Zina took it?

976
01:42:47.164 --> 01:42:48.445
Me?!

977
01:42:49.165 --> 01:42:51.041
Calm down, Zina.

978
01:42:52.961 --> 01:42:54.373
Take him to the bathroom.

979
01:43:13.153 --> 01:43:17.400
Philipp Philippovich,
I shall never forget how...

980
01:43:17.909 --> 01:43:22.157
...as a half-starved student came to you and
you how you gave me a place at the faculty.

981
01:43:22.498 --> 01:43:26.448
Believe me, Philipp Philippovich,
you are much more to me than a professor, a teacher.

982
01:43:26.919 --> 01:43:28.461
Thank you.

983
01:43:29.882 --> 01:43:33.666
I'm afraid I sometimes bawl
at you during operations...

984
01:43:35.055 --> 01:43:37.891
You must forgive
an old man's testiness.

985
01:43:38.184 --> 01:43:41.684
The fact is, I'm really so lonely.

986
01:43:47.487 --> 01:43:50.109
From Seville to Granada...

987
01:43:51.658 --> 01:43:56.322
Philipp Philippovich, naturally,
it's not for me to offer you advice...

988
01:43:56.957 --> 01:44:02.748
But look at yourself, you're completely worn out,
you can't go on working like that.

989
01:44:02.964 --> 01:44:05.718
- Absolutely impossible.
- o.

990
01:44:07.262 --> 01:44:13.432
But I am deeply convinced that there is no
other solution than to put an end to him.

991
01:44:13.728 --> 01:44:18.391
No, no, no, don't tempt me, don't even
mention it, I won't hear of it!

992
01:44:20.486 --> 01:44:23.653
Don't you realize what would happen
if they found us out?

993
01:44:25.326 --> 01:44:28.162
Because of our 'social origins' you
and I won't have any chance of...

994
01:44:28.412 --> 01:44:32.031
...going to Paris, despite the fact
that we should be first offenders.

995
01:44:32.334 --> 01:44:34.622
I don't suppose you have suitable
'origins', do you?

996
01:44:34.878 --> 01:44:37.715
What the hell! My father was
a court investigator in Vilno.

997
01:44:38.008 --> 01:44:42.469
There you are.
There's your bad blood.

998
01:44:44.391 --> 01:44:47.595
You couldn't have come from
a more unsuitable background.

999
01:44:47.936 --> 01:44:52.897
till, mine is even worse. My father
was dean of a cathedral. My mother...

1000
01:44:53.903 --> 01:44:59.063
From Seville to Granada...
in the still of the night...

1001
01:44:59.368 --> 01:45:01.657
Damn it all.

1002
01:45:01.995 --> 01:45:05.614
Philipp Philippovich, you are
a world-famous scientist.

1003
01:45:05.959 --> 01:45:09.495
And just because of some - forgive
the expression - son of a bitch...

1004
01:45:09.838 --> 01:45:12.462
…Surely they can't touch you,
believe me!

1005
01:45:12.968 --> 01:45:15.126
- All the more so, I refuse to do it.
- But why not?

1006
01:45:16.556 --> 01:45:20.424
- Because you are not world-famous.
- Far from it.

1007
01:45:20.686 --> 01:45:25.514
o. I will never let a colleague
down in a calamity...

1008
01:45:25.858 --> 01:45:29.144
...and myself shelter behind my world-wide
reputation. That's something I won't do.

1009
01:45:30.197 --> 01:45:33.115
I'm a Moscow University alumnus,
not a Sharikov.

1010
01:45:33.366 --> 01:45:35.776
Are you just going to wait...

1011
01:45:36.081 --> 01:45:38.950
...until that hoodlum turns
into a human being?

1012
01:45:39.625 --> 01:45:45.712
Ivan Arnoldovich, do you think I understand a
little bit about the anatomy and physiology?

1013
01:45:45.966 --> 01:45:47.925
Philipp Philippovich - what a question!

1014
01:45:48.095 --> 01:45:51.097
Now listen to me,
Professor-to-be Bormenthal...

1015
01:45:51.390 --> 01:45:55.685
...No one will ever manage to turn him
into a human being. And don't ask me.

1016
01:45:57.398 --> 01:46:01.693
I spent five years doing nothing
but extracting cerebral appendages.

1017
01:46:02.237 --> 01:46:06.318
You know bow much work I did on the
subject - an unbelievable amount!

1018
01:46:07.244 --> 01:46:11.372
And now comes the crucial question - what
for? o that one fine day a charming dog...

1019
01:46:11.915 --> 01:46:15.914
...should be transformed into a specimen so
revolting that he makes one's hair stand on end?

1020
01:46:16.170 --> 01:46:18.924
- Something extraordinary.
- I quite agree with you...

1021
01:46:19.717 --> 01:46:23.585
This, Doctor, is what happens when a researcher,
instead of keeping in step with nature,

1022
01:46:24.097 --> 01:46:31.762
...tries to force the pace
and lift the veil.

1023
01:46:32.315 --> 01:46:35.233
The result is a Sharikov. We have made
our bed and now we must lie in it!

1024
01:46:35.820 --> 01:46:37.979
Supposing the brain had been
Spinoza’s, Philipp Philippovich?

1025
01:46:38.491 --> 01:46:42.785
But what in heaven's name for?
Will you kindly explain that to me?

1026
01:46:43.205 --> 01:46:46.906
Will you kindly tell me why one has to manufacture
an artificial human being, when any woman can...

1027
01:46:47.209 --> 01:46:49.499
...give birth to a real one any day of the week.
- Philipp Philippovich...

1028
01:46:49.712 --> 01:46:53.295
No, don't argue,
Ivan Arnoldovich, please.

1029
01:46:53.800 --> 01:46:58.345
Theoretically, the experiment was interesting.
The physiologists will be delighted. Moscow has gone mad.

1030
01:46:59.265 --> 01:47:04.261
But what have we got in practice?
Who is this creature? Who?

1031
01:47:04.605 --> 01:47:07.276
- An unmitigated scoundrel.
- Yes, but who is he?

1032
01:47:09.863 --> 01:47:13.943
Klim. Klim Chugunkin.

1033
01:47:16.621 --> 01:47:20.950
Twice sentenced, an alcoholic,
\x22take and divide everything up\x22,

1034
01:47:23.713 --> 01:47:27.248
...hoodlum and swine. Yes.

1035
01:47:30.429 --> 01:47:32.885
I was concerned with something
quite different.

1036
01:47:33.475 --> 01:47:39.229
With eugenics, with the improvement of
the human nature. And what have I got?

1037
01:47:42.778 --> 01:47:46.228
You don't think I do these rejuvenation
operations because of the money, do you?

1038
01:47:46.906 --> 01:47:51.370
- I am still a scientist.
- And a great one, that's what I tell you.

1039
01:47:52.916 --> 01:47:59.964
Yes, Doctor, this case
is absolutely hopeless.

1040
01:48:02.468 --> 01:48:05.256
Okay, then, Professor.

1041
01:48:05.556 --> 01:48:09.091
If you don't want to do it yourself,
I will take the risk of feeding him a dose of arsenic.

1042
01:48:09.978 --> 01:48:12.517
I don't care if my father
was a court investigator.

1043
01:48:12.814 --> 01:48:15.437
No, absolutely not.
I won't let you do it.

1044
01:48:16.945 --> 01:48:19.863
I'm sixty - and have the right
to give you advice.

1045
01:48:20.283 --> 01:48:26.488
Never commit a crime
no matter against whom.

1046
01:48:27.042 --> 01:48:31.621
Keep your hands clean until old age.

1047
01:48:32.130 --> 01:48:33.958
For God's sake, Philipp Philippovich...

1048
01:48:34.258 --> 01:48:38.042
...if that damned Shvonder sets to work
at him, what is going to become of him?

1049
01:48:38.346 --> 01:48:41.965
I'm only just beginning to realize what
may become of our Sharikov, by God.

1050
01:48:42.226 --> 01:48:46.805
Aha, so you realize now, do you? Well, I
realized it ten days after the operation.

1051
01:48:48.859 --> 01:48:54.531
Now then, that Shvonder
is the greatest fool!

1052
01:48:55.576 --> 01:48:59.076
Right now he's doing all he can
to turn Sharikov against me...

1053
01:48:59.331 --> 01:49:02.285
...not realizing that if someone were in his
turn to set Sharikov against Shvonder himself...

1054
01:49:02.627 --> 01:49:07.124
...there'll soon be nothing left of
Shvonder but the bones and the beak.

1055
01:49:07.382 --> 01:49:10.669
Just think of the way he goes about cats.
A man with the heart of a dog.

1056
01:49:11.012 --> 01:49:16.088
Oh, no, don't insult the dog...
I assure you that his reaction to cats is purely temporary.

1057
01:49:16.602 --> 01:49:23.436
The whole horror is that he now has
a human heart, not a dog's heart.

1058
01:49:23.777 --> 01:49:29.733
And about the rottenest heart
in all creation!

1059
01:49:31.077 --> 01:49:33.831
- I shall kill him.
- Help!

1060
01:49:34.207 --> 01:49:37.077
- What is it?
- Mommy! Help!

1061
01:49:37.545 --> 01:49:40.630
- What are you doing, bastard?
- Darya, let go.

1062
01:49:41.048 --> 01:49:44.549
Just look at our precious visitor
Telegraph Telegraphovich, Professor!

1063
01:49:44.845 --> 01:49:48.132
I've been married, I don't care.
But Zina's an innocent girl...

1064
01:49:48.390 --> 01:49:50.514
It was a good thing I woke up!

1065
01:49:50.852 --> 01:49:53.142
Darya Petrovna, please forgive us.

1066
01:49:53.773 --> 01:49:56.728
Darya, we are young.

1067
01:49:57.277 --> 01:49:59.187
Doctor! I forbid you!

1068
01:50:00.447 --> 01:50:04.399
- Doctor!
- You haven't any right to fight.

1069
01:50:04.661 --> 01:50:08.447
Ok. OK. Just wait till morning.

1070
01:50:10.043 --> 01:50:12.961
Bormenthal, let go! Where are you
taking me? I can walk myself.

1071
01:50:13.214 --> 01:50:17.758
I'll fix a little show for him when he sobers up.
- Philipovich, you tell him.

1072
01:50:24.645 --> 01:50:30.482
I warn you Egorovna, if you go on burning parquet
in the stove I'll move you all out. That's it.

1073
01:50:34.489 --> 01:50:35.950
Yes?

1074
01:50:37.868 --> 01:50:41.867
Excuse me, do you happen to know where
monsieur Sharikov is at the moment?

1075
01:50:43.250 --> 01:50:45.409
Is he not at home?

1076
01:50:46.463 --> 01:50:50.081
He's gone. What a fool I am not
to have locked the door!

1077
01:50:51.260 --> 01:50:55.840
Look for him yourself.
I'm not his guardian, am I?

1078
01:50:57.226 --> 01:50:59.718
All the more so because your
Sharikov is a scoundrel.

1079
01:51:00.521 --> 01:51:04.686
Yesterday in the office of the house
committee he took 7 roubles to buy textbooks.

1080
01:51:06.153 --> 01:51:07.435
The dog!

1081
01:51:23.425 --> 01:51:28.384
I can well imagine what is going on
out there. I can imagine.

1082
01:51:28.681 --> 01:51:32.133
He stole three bottles of ash berry vodka and
borrowed three and a half roubles from me.

1083
01:51:32.519 --> 01:51:35.438
You deserved it. You well knew
what sort of a guy he was.

1084
01:51:36.191 --> 01:51:40.024
Sure I did. No need to bring
stray dogs into the flat.

1085
01:51:40.905 --> 01:51:42.778
We must inform the militia at once.

1086
01:52:20.121 --> 01:52:25.329
I, Philipp Philippovich, have taken up an official post.
- Give me the paper.

1087
01:52:29.757 --> 01:52:33.423
The presenter of this Polygraph
Plygraphovich Sharikov...

1088
01:52:33.888 --> 01:52:37.933
...is truly employed as head of the sub-department
for the control of stray animals...

1089
01:52:38.310 --> 01:52:44.480
...(cats etc.) in Moscow.

1090
01:52:45.902 --> 01:52:49.069
o, who got you the job?
But I suppose I can guess.

1091
01:52:50.199 --> 01:52:53.450
Yes of course, Shvonder.

1092
01:52:55.163 --> 01:53:01.169
Forgive my asking, but why are you
giving off such a revolting smell?

1093
01:53:04.132 --> 01:53:09.175
Well, it does smell -
that's because of my job.

1094
01:53:10.264 --> 01:53:15.057
I spent all yesterday
strangling cats, cats, cats.

1095
01:53:16.064 --> 01:53:20.193
trangling, strangling, strangling.

1096
01:53:22.197 --> 01:53:24.106
- Help!
- Ivan Arnoldovich.

1097
01:53:24.366 --> 01:53:26.691
Don't worry, Philipp Philippovich,
I shan't do anything violent.

1098
01:53:26.953 --> 01:53:29.195
Zina and Darya Petrovna!

1099
01:53:31.334 --> 01:53:37.171
Repeat after me: Forgive me
Darya Petrovna and Zinaida...

1100
01:53:37.465 --> 01:53:39.873
- Zinaida..?
- Prokofievna.

1101
01:53:40.386 --> 01:53:45.760
...Prokofievna, for my disgusting prank
the other night in a state of intoxication.

1102
01:53:46.184 --> 01:53:49.020
- This will never happen again!
- Never.

1103
01:53:49.523 --> 01:53:53.306
- Let him go, you'll strangle him.
- Let him go, Ivan Arnoldovich.

1104
01:53:54.946 --> 01:53:57.104
Now mind the following.

1105
01:53:57.324 --> 01:54:00.858
You've come back to
Philipp Philippovich's flat.

1106
01:54:01.495 --> 01:54:04.117
- Have you?
- Where else can I go?

1107
01:54:04.373 --> 01:54:08.503
Very well. You will be as good
as gold and as quiet as a mouse.

1108
01:54:09.380 --> 01:54:13.674
Otherwise, you will have to reckon
with me each time you misbehave.

1109
01:54:13.969 --> 01:54:15.547
Got it?

1110
01:54:16.472 --> 01:54:17.966
Yes.

1111
01:54:21.394 --> 01:54:26.603
What do you do with them...
the dead cats?

1112
01:54:27.361 --> 01:54:29.649
They'll make overcoats of them.

1113
01:54:30.490 --> 01:54:34.109
They'll make squirrels out of them
and sell them to workers on credit.

1114
01:57:15.235 --> 01:57:16.515
Come in.

1115
01:57:20.198 --> 01:57:21.823
Don't be shy.

1116
01:57:24.829 --> 01:57:27.748
What are you waiting for, come in.

1117
01:57:33.048 --> 01:57:34.293
Take off your coat.

1118
01:57:38.262 --> 01:57:40.505
- Who is this?
- Me and her's getting married.

1119
01:57:40.891 --> 01:57:44.224
he's our typist. he's coming
to live with me.

1120
01:57:44.646 --> 01:57:48.976
Bormenthal will have to be moved out of the reception room.
He's got a flat of his own.

1121
01:57:50.903 --> 01:57:53.904
May I ask you to step into
my study for a moment?

1122
01:57:54.866 --> 01:57:56.776
- I'm coming with her.
- I beg your pardon.

1123
01:57:57.037 --> 01:57:59.527
The Professor wants to talk to the lady,
and you and I are going to stay here.

1124
01:57:59.747 --> 01:58:02.453
- I won't!
- No, I'm sorry.

1125
01:58:07.966 --> 01:58:12.214
He told me he'd been
wounded in battle.

1126
01:58:12.513 --> 01:58:14.056
He's lying.

1127
01:58:16.518 --> 01:58:21.763
I'm genuinely sorry for you,
but you know you should not...

1128
01:58:23.610 --> 01:58:28.855
...go off with the first man you meet
just because he has a steady job.

1129
01:58:29.952 --> 01:58:32.740
Baby, it's scandalous.

1130
01:58:33.081 --> 01:58:35.453
Nothing but salt beef
every day in the canteen.

1131
01:58:39.046 --> 01:58:42.546
He threatened me, he said
he was a Red Army officer.

1132
01:58:47.681 --> 01:58:52.227
He promised to take me to live
in a luxurious flat.

1133
01:58:56.944 --> 01:58:59.400
Pineapples every day.

1134
01:59:00.155 --> 01:59:03.525
ays he's kind-hearted, really...

1135
01:59:05.913 --> 01:59:08.369
...he only hates cats.

1136
01:59:09.793 --> 01:59:12.035
He took my ring as a keepsake.

1137
01:59:14.507 --> 01:59:16.085
I'll poison myself!

1138
01:59:16.676 --> 01:59:20.840
Well, well, well. You just have
to bear the pain a little while.

1139
01:59:22.057 --> 01:59:24.466
You're still so young.

1140
01:59:26.939 --> 01:59:28.682
Sharikov!

1141
01:59:30.777 --> 01:59:34.561
Kindly take the trouble to explain to this
lady where you got that scar on your forehead.

1142
01:59:37.326 --> 01:59:40.993
I was wounded at the front fighting against Kolchak.
- top it!

1143
01:59:45.294 --> 01:59:49.080
Just a minute - the ring, please.

1144
01:59:53.097 --> 01:59:56.299
I'll get you. You'll remember me.

1145
01:59:57.935 --> 02:00:00.426
Tomorrow I'll arrange for some
reductions of the office staff!

1146
02:00:00.772 --> 02:00:03.608
Don't be afraid of him!
I won't let him do you any harm!

1147
02:00:04.068 --> 02:00:06.559
- What's her surname? Surname?
- Vasnetsova.

1148
02:00:07.698 --> 02:00:13.488
Every day I shall personally make inquiries at the City
sanitation Department, if citizen Vasnetsova has been sacked!

1149
02:00:13.789 --> 02:00:17.538
And if I find out that she has,
I will shoot you down with my own hands!

1150
02:00:21.506 --> 02:00:23.712
I know where to lay hands
on revolvers myself.

1151
02:00:25.386 --> 02:00:26.667
Beware!

1152
02:00:43.575 --> 02:00:45.200
Don't stop the engine.

1153
02:00:48.581 --> 02:00:51.951
You look right, you look left.
Let's go.

1154
02:01:15.197 --> 02:01:18.981
You stay here, you - here.
Watch carefully.

1155
02:01:20.787 --> 02:01:22.448
Catch him!

1156
02:01:51.325 --> 02:01:54.031
Catch him, catch!

1157
02:01:54.538 --> 02:02:00.080
- Well, Polygraph, you seem to know where they are hiding.
- I can feel them with my heart. Get in.

1158
02:02:02.005 --> 02:02:05.457
Let's go quick. Be careful
not to let it slip by.

1159
02:02:37.007 --> 02:02:39.499
Have your pains come back?

1160
02:02:39.844 --> 02:02:43.712
No, Professor, I'm very
grateful to you.

1161
02:02:45.851 --> 02:02:50.515
I've come, hm, about another matter,
Philipp Philippovich.

1162
02:02:51.108 --> 02:02:56.352
also threatening to kill of the House
Committee chairman, Comrade Shvonder

1163
02:02:58.033 --> 02:03:02.530
which makes it clear
that he keeps firearms...

1164
02:03:02.914 --> 02:03:08.123
...and makes counterrevolutionary
speeches...

1165
02:03:09.089 --> 02:03:15.756
...has even ordered his domestic worker,
Zinaida Prokofievna Bunina...

1166
02:03:17.139 --> 02:03:19.216
..to burn Engels... Engels...
in the stove...

1167
02:03:19.935 --> 02:03:26.307
...like a true Menshevik together with his
assistant Ivan Arnoldovich Bormenthal...

1168
02:03:26.652 --> 02:03:34.068
...who is living secretly in his flat
without being registered.

1169
02:03:34.410 --> 02:03:38.989
The signature of the head of the City
sanitation Department Sharikov is valid.

1170
02:03:39.584 --> 02:03:43.748
...House Committee chairman Shvonder.

1171
02:03:46.508 --> 02:03:49.630
Secretary: Pestrukhin.

1172
02:03:52.058 --> 02:03:56.685
It's lucky that they reported
directly to me.

1173
02:03:56.980 --> 02:04:00.814
May I keep this?

1174
02:04:01.153 --> 02:04:07.820
Or perhaps you need it so that
legal proceedings can be started?

1175
02:04:08.161 --> 02:04:14.532
Forgive me, Professor, but you seem
to regard us with too much contempt.

1176
02:04:14.835 --> 02:04:18.003
- I...
- Please forgive me, my dear fellow.

1177
02:04:18.882 --> 02:04:24.258
I really didn't mean to offend you.
Please don't take offence.

1178
02:04:26.016 --> 02:04:28.591
He tired me out.

1179
02:04:43.580 --> 02:04:45.406
You must be here tomorrow morning.

1180
02:04:51.506 --> 02:04:54.177
Good evening, Polygraph
Polygraphovich.

1181
02:05:20.541 --> 02:05:22.914
serve dinner in the dining room.

1182
02:05:28.594 --> 02:05:32.806
Sharikov, come into the study.

1183
02:05:43.445 --> 02:05:44.988
What do you want?

1184
02:05:46.407 --> 02:05:51.782
Go and collect your things at once - pants, coat,
everything you need - then get out of this flat!

1185
02:05:52.248 --> 02:05:55.415
- What is this!?
- Get out of this flat - today.

1186
02:05:55.668 --> 02:05:59.500
What is this after all! You think
I can't find a way to deal with you?

1187
02:05:59.840 --> 02:06:02.926
I've a right to thirty-seven square
feet and I'm staying right here!

1188
02:06:03.302 --> 02:06:07.171
- Get out of this flat.
- Like hell I will!

1189
02:06:09.186 --> 02:06:10.977
Keep away, Bormenthal.

1190
02:06:14.900 --> 02:06:18.236
Doctor Bormenthal! Doctor Bormenthal!
Doctor, what are you doing?.

1191
02:06:26.790 --> 02:06:29.911
Doctor Bormenthal! Doctor Bormenthal!

1192
02:07:00.875 --> 02:07:02.666
Give me the key to the front door.

1193
02:07:05.963 --> 02:07:08.538
The Professor says you
mustn't leave the apartment.

1194
02:07:09.468 --> 02:07:12.506
It's not because we don't trust you,
but should anybody come...

1195
02:07:12.847 --> 02:07:17.142
...you might not be able to keep them out,
and we mustn't be disturbed. We're busy.

1196
02:07:19.981 --> 02:07:24.809
It's not because they don't trust us.
They mustn't be disturbed. They are busy.

1197
02:07:51.480 --> 02:07:53.636
Where's the chief of the
pest control department?

1198
02:07:54.608 --> 02:07:57.478
And who the hell are you?
- I am chairman of the house management committee Shvonder.

1199
02:07:58.152 --> 02:08:02.616
God knows where you chief of the pest control is.
It's now the third day that we are waiting for him.

1200
02:08:04.870 --> 02:08:06.280
Well then.

1201
02:08:26.647 --> 02:08:27.927
Who are you?

1202
02:08:28.106 --> 02:08:31.808
Criminal Police and investigator.
Open up, please.

1203
02:08:41.957 --> 02:08:43.832
Where is the Professor's room?

1204
02:08:53.931 --> 02:08:55.804
What is it that you desire gentlemen?

1205
02:08:56.434 --> 02:09:00.646
We have a warrant to search your flat and arrest you,
depending on the results of the search.

1206
02:09:01.857 --> 02:09:05.273
What, may I ask, is the charge,
and who is being charged?

1207
02:09:05.611 --> 02:09:10.026
Professor Preobrazhensky, Bormenthal...

1208
02:09:11.160 --> 02:09:16.203
...Zinaida Bunina, and Darya Ivanova
are charged with the murder of...

1209
02:09:17.460 --> 02:09:21.375
...Poligraph Poligraphovich Sharikov,
Subdepartment Head of the Pest Control.

1210
02:09:22.674 --> 02:09:27.136
I don't understand. What Sharikov do you have in mind?
Oh, you mean that dog of mine... the one I operated on?

1211
02:09:27.429 --> 02:09:32.009
Not your dog. This happened when
he was a man. That's the trouble.

1212
02:09:32.603 --> 02:09:36.816
You mean he talked? That doesn't
necessarily imply being human.

1213
02:09:37.067 --> 02:09:40.188
Anyhow, it's irrelevant.
Sharik still exists.

1214
02:09:40.571 --> 02:09:44.073
- No one ever killed him.
- In that case, you must produce him.

1215
02:09:44.368 --> 02:09:49.742
It's ten days now since he disappeared, and the evidence,
I am sorry to say, is most disquieting.

1216
02:09:52.628 --> 02:09:57.836
Doctor Bormenthal, will you please
produce Sharik for the detective to see.

1217
02:10:21.246 --> 02:10:26.834
But how then, did he work for Pest Control?
- I didn't send him to the job.

1218
02:10:27.504 --> 02:10:32.251
It was Monsieur Shvonder who
recommended him, if I'm not mistaken.

1219
02:10:34.137 --> 02:10:38.966
Is that him?
- That's him. Only the villain has gone all hairy again.

1220
02:10:39.520 --> 02:10:44.680
- But he talked!
- He still talks, though less and less.

1221
02:10:44.984 --> 02:10:47.024
Now is the time to hear him speak.

1222
02:10:47.529 --> 02:10:51.196
science has not yet found the means
of turning animals into people.

1223
02:10:51.701 --> 02:10:57.906
As you see, I tried, he talked, and then
he began to revert to his primitive state.

1224
02:10:59.169 --> 02:11:03.416
- An atavism.
- Atavism? A...

1225
02:11:04.257 --> 02:11:06.797
Don't swear at me!

1226
02:11:09.805 --> 02:11:13.426
- Give him valerian. He's fainted.
- Did you see it? He sent his dog at me.

1227
02:11:13.685 --> 02:11:16.095
I shall personally throw
Shvonder downstairs...

1228
02:11:16.315 --> 02:11:18.984
...if he ever turns up in Professor
Preobrazhensky's flat again.

1229
02:11:19.610 --> 02:11:22.612
Please enter that remark
in the report.

1230
02:11:28.746 --> 02:11:32.447
Did you here? Did you? I request that
those words be recorded in the protocol.

1231
02:11:45.642 --> 02:11:49.178
That's our lot,

1232
02:11:49.857 --> 02:11:53.690
We are back from the field and the enemy
class is celebrating everywhere.

1233
02:11:54.904 --> 02:11:58.355
Tell me, Uncle, for the sake
of the people

1234
02:11:59.534 --> 02:12:03.036
No enemy will escape our punishment.

1235
02:12:03.831 --> 02:12:07.117
The hoofs are knocking

1236
02:12:08.211 --> 02:12:11.581
The machine-gun is sounding.

1237
02:12:12.509 --> 02:12:15.843
The White guard is all beaten up

1238
02:12:16.806 --> 02:12:20.341
No one will ever overpower
the Red army!

1239
02:12:21.229 --> 02:12:25.523
The White guard is all beaten up

1240
02:12:42.922 --> 02:12:49.174
From Seville to Granada...
in the still of the night...

1241
02:12:50.472 --> 02:12:57.722
You can here the serenade and
the clash of steel so bright.

1242
02:12:59.234 --> 02:13:02.934
dreams of blood and song galore...

1243
02:13:03.281 --> 02:13:10.244
I've been very, very lucky -
Incredibly lucky.

1244
02:13:12.708 --> 02:13:15.330
Now I'm really settled in this flat.

1245
02:13:17.505 --> 02:13:22.382
Though I'm absolutely sure there's
something fishy about my pedigree.

1246
02:13:23.973 --> 02:13:26.725
A Labrador is sure to have
something to do with it.

1247
02:13:27.060 --> 02:13:32.018
he was just a tart, my old grandmother,
God rest her soul.

1248
02:13:33.735 --> 02:13:40.189
sure, they cut my head up a bit for some
reason, but who cares. That's all right.

1249
02:13:41.744 --> 02:13:45.742
None of my business, really.